A Lonely Road

Castration and Spaghetti Tuesday

They arrived home to silence again, and made their way to Kaelie's room. The peanut butter sandwich sat discarded on the bed where Jace had dropped it to go after her. She raised her eyebrow at him, and smiled at the look of confusion and sheepishness on his face. "Well, it was supposed to be comfort food or something for you, but then you were gone and so-" Kaelie stopped him and smiled again.

"It's fine," she said, picking it up and taking a bite. She widened her eyes and hummed in pleasure at the taste. "Oh my god," she said. "What magic is this?"

"Peanut butter and honey sandwich, my mom used to make them a lot," he responded, still sounding like he was afraid she'd hit him for something.

"Thank you, Jace," she said sincerely. "I think it's probably time we went to bed?"

He nodded, and turned slowly, leaving the room and going one door down to his own. Kaelie slid out of her jeans and shed her bra- arguably one of the best feelings in the world- climbing into the bed and hiding under a nest of blankets. For a long while, she laid awake, mind whirring with thoughts of Jace, of Ben, and Ben kissing Jace, of the lab she'd stumbled upon mostly by accident today. Eventually, her mind slowed enough to allow a fitful sleep.

The sterile room was icy and its chill seemed to have settled deep into Kaelie's bones. Her body ached, bruises blossomed over her skin, the bottoms of her feet were ragged, and her fingernails were tattered. Her hair hung in greasy clumps, and she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes as another shot rang into the air. Michael fell to the floor, his hazel eyes rolling back, and Kaelie could hear someone wailing in anguish. She tried to move, to run to the glass and pound some more, like that would do anything at all, and she heard Theo's distorted voice come over a loudspeaker in the room.

"What's wrong Kaelie? You're looking a little upset there. You know, I've been told I'm pretty good at fixing these sorts of problems for the ladies, and if you're real nice, I'll come make you feel better." The tone of his voice made Kaelie gag, but she retched out loud when they drug the next person in. Jace.

Her heart stopped and she was screaming, begging anyone to stop this. Jace's grey eyes stared at the glass reproachfully, like he knew Kaelie was there, knew this was all her fault. "Theo!" she screeched at the glass. "Theo just stop. Don't. You can have me, you can have me like you did before, just let go of him, let him go."

Cold laughter rumbled over the intercom, and Kaelie felt tears on her face, hot against her cool cheeks, and then there was another loud shot and Kaelie realised that the wailing was her.

"Kaelie! Kaelie!" Someone was shouting in her ear, she felt hands on her shoulders and shot up with a start, gasping air into her lungs as the images faded from the backs of her eyelids. Slowly, Jace's face swam into focus, and she was still heaving for breath when she felt him sit beside her on the bed. His eyes were concerned instead of angry and she reached out to grab his wrist, to know that he was real.

"It was a dream, Kaelie, it was a dream," he said, rubbing circles into her hand again.

Kaelie still felt like she was choking or drowning or both, she kept seeing Jace slump forward and she could hardly form words. "But, but you, I- I saw, you, you died. You died and I watched it and there was nothing-" Jaced shushed her again and they sat in silence for a few moments until Kaelie felt her breathing slow. Jace seemed to sense her calm as well, and rose to leave, but Kaelie tugged on his wrist, forcing him to stop.

"Wait," she said, and she hated the rawness of her voice. "Wait, Jace, I- stay. Please? Stay."

Jace looked at her for a moment, like he was trying to decide if it was a good idea or not, before he sighed gently and nodded. He pulled out of her grasp and walked to the opposite side of the bed, sliding under the blankets and laying flat on his back. Kaelie reached out carefully, afraid he might reprimand her or something and curled her fingers around his upper arm and she lay on her side facing him. His even breathing soothed her nerves, and she was nearly asleep again when he whispered so softly she wasn't really sure he'd spoken.