Merry Christmas Mr. Malfoy (Book 1)

Chapter 11 : Picture Perfect

Picture Perfect

His stomach growled furiously in the silence of the room. He could, just barely, hear the voices of people several floors below, talking animatedly and joyfully. He wanted to join them, a little part of him desperately wanted to be with them in the warmth and glow of happiness and love.

But there was this other part...this angry, furious, cruel part of his mind that kept him far from everyone else. It had come to the point that even the ghoul refused to move above his room.

He locked himself in this prison, a prison he had once called home, because he could not control his jealousy and hurt.

He couldn't push away the guilt.

Oh...what had he done?

Burying his face in his hands, Ronald Weasley sat on the edge of his bed in despair. He couldn't believe that he had let so much rage, so much jealousy take over and consume him like that.

He didn't know what had made him realize this; maybe it was the thinking on the train or perhaps the hours he had spent in here, locked away with no one to talk to and no form of entertainment. All he knew was that, somehow, he had calmed down enough to conclude that he had done the worst thing imaginable.

How he had succeeded in this, he still wasn't sure, but he knew that he had some serious repairing to do.

There was only one problem...

He knew that if he were to see her, the envy would come back full force and he would become the monster he had been just a day ago.

He wouldn't care about her thoughts or feelings; his mind would shut down to every other bit of reason aside from his own and he would act violently and selfishly, uncaring of those who got in his way.

Damn it...why did he have to get a lot of his mother's traits?

But...well...now that he thought about it...maybe the envy was to be expected. He hadn't always been able to get the best of everything, being the youngest son of a large but poor family. He had always received hand-me-downs and used items, and he had always come in second or third to everyone in the family.

Even when he had gone to school, hoping for a chance to earn a place in his family, he had not been able to be the best. It was always second best for Ronald Weasley, sidekick of the famous Harry Potter.

Nope, Ron never deserved full credit for anything and he certainly never deserved to be number one. He was always number two.

He had helped Harry defeat the chess set, hadn't he? He had even sacrificed himself in order to help the ungrateful prat go ahead and defeat Quirrel. In second year, wasn't it he who had helped Harry find the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets? Third year, hadn't he been the one injured against Sirius? Had Harry ever said a proper thank you? Had Hermione ever been grateful for his sacrifice while defending her in second year?

What about fourth year, when he had given away so much precious time to help Harry train for the Triwizard Tournament? Or fifth year, when he had, finally, gained some self-respect in wining the Quidditch Cup? What had Harry done? The prat had decided to kiss his sister!

Sixth year! What about the bloody sixth year? When Hermione attacked him with damn birds and had hardly looked guilty when he had nearly died! Had anyone ever thanked or apologized to him? Had anyone ever offered their sympathy when his brother had been attacked?

No. No sympathy for the Weasley. No apologies for Ronald. No credit for Ron.

So yes...his jealousy was well deserved. What had Malfoy done to deserve Hermione's full attention? The git had spent his entire Hogwarts career torturing them! He had thrown insult after insult, curse after curse, at them without any sense of remorse. He had joined the Dark Side in the war, had done nothing to help them in his Manor when they had been taken captive.