Merry Christmas Mr. Malfoy (Book 1)

Chapter 23 : I Promise

I Promise...

He wandered around in a dazed state for a few days, prowling the school, trapped between despair and fury, unable to find a stable balance of the two. His mind became a whirling of emotion, constant, overwhelming and infuriating.

He snapped at everyone and everything, including his friends, and he couldn't bring himself to stop. His temper was short, his mind always running at a million miles a second, heart constantly pounding against his ribs, and his blood roaring in his ears.

Pain became a part of him and he wasn't sure if he could withstand it anymore. It was ceaseless.

Blaise tried, from time to time, to help ease his aching fury, and at times succeeded, at least in only easing it. He never managed to completely remove it or direct Draco's mind towards other thoughts or possibilities. He tried getting the man to get revenge, telling him that it might be best if he shagged the hell out of every single female above the age of sixteen. Draco only muttered, in a rather disappointed voice, that he hadn't been able to shag the Gryffindor Princess before he caught her.

Goyle wrote him several letters, imploring him to try and return to normal. He tried reminding him that Hermione was a Gryffindor, and, even though the war had taught them several lessons, she was still not to be trusted. He reminded her that this was why she could never keep a man for a long period of time.

This only succeeded in further enraging Draco, more towards Goyle than anything else, unable to believe that someone might insult his beautiful Gryffindor, which caused him to turn his rage towards himself, angry for still loving her in spite of the circumstances.

Even Luna had written him a letter, although it was rather cryptic and only succeeded in confusing the hell out of Draco.

For now, he enjoyed prowling and snapping at everyone.

Burrowing his hands into his pockets, rather pleased with himself after having made a Second Year cry, he walked down a fifth floor corridor, glancing out of the windows to look at the rising moon.

"Damn it," he muttered, lifting a hand to run it through his hair, "what's the matter with me?"

He didn't understand…no matter what he tried to get rid of his rage, it remained a constant part of his mind and body. But, what made things worse was that, no matter how angry he got, no matter how much he wanted to cry, he couldn't help but secretly admit that he still loved the brown-haired siren.

There had to be something wrong with him.

Growling, he purposely pushed over a nearby knight, causing the armour to fall to the ground with a loud clatter and bang. Cursing, he kicked the helmet, sending it rolling down the hallway.

"Fuck! There is something wrong with me! Why am I thinking like this? Why do I want her to come to me and tell me that everything's okay? That she was lying, that she really does love me?" He gripped his head in despairing confusion, wanting to fall to his knees and scream.

"Why did she have to admit that this was all a trick?" he said, voice lowering as the anger receded into depression. "Why did she lie?"

"You know she loves you, right?"

Lifting his head at the sound of another voice, he was quite surprised to seen Blaise standing a few feet away from him, knight's helmet in hand.

"What?"

"You're destroying the whole school, Draco, with your anger," Blaise said softly, stepping forward. Waving his wand, the knight returned to its original position, and he placed the helmet back where it belonged. "You have to find a way to control your emotions."