It's been a week since the vigil, a long week, in which I've barely talked to anyone. It's all been patrols, hunting, fighting on boundaries, and more bad news. The warriors are talking amongst themselves, various conversations, most of which make me sad. "Did you hear we lost another to DarkClan?"
"Who died?"
"Greenthorn. He was about to retire, too."
"Will you sit vigil for him?"
"Yes, of course. Moonblaze must be devastated- that was one of her last relatives, after all."
Moonblaze walks past me to the Hightree, where Mothstar already perches, fur puffed up. She's shivering ever so slightly, and even though I'm sitting right at her paws, I can barely tell. "We are here to mourn a fellow warrior. Greenthorn now hunts with StarClan." She says finally.
Everyone is sad to hear this, and Moonblaze has more reason than any- Silverwing, Fawnpaw, and Whitefur are all gone. She has no family left except her kits. She curls her tail around them, defensively, as if it'll protect them from any danger.
The calico one with the big blue eyes stares at me, blinking. I nod to her, nobly. She will have more protection than that of her parents. The whole clan will protect her.
Tigerfang doesn't look all that sad- he's on the outside, licking his paw calmly like nothing happened. I haven't seen much of him recently- if any at all.
Thank StarClan for that.
"Anyways, with this death, and the recent raids-" a mutter fills the clan. What raids? Some of the older warriors talk about "StoneClan" and "rabid DarkClan cats". I don't need to hear much more to pick up the pieces. "-We will now station a guard outside of DragonClan, which warriors will be required to take shifts on. It will start... at sundown, while Moonblaze and a pawful of Greenthorn's loved ones bury his body. The first patrol will be Firepool, Icestorm, Beesting and Bluestorm!"
The four of us take positions, mine by the exit to camp. I watch the cats leave, and struggle not to cry. I wish I could see the stars in the dusk sky, but I can't. I want to see Owlfeather up there, to see Pinepaw's smile again etched in the stars. Why do they have to be so far away?
I see Firepool looking up too, and I realize he must be thinking about Foxsong and Wolfstar. He doesn't have any parents either... I feel the tears well up in my eyes, and if the world has been holding them in too, snow starts falling. The sky is dyed a rainbow of clouds, grey and purple, and snow is coming down slowly but steadily.
I walk over to him slowly, and say finally, "The sky is pretty tonight, isn't it?" My breath freezes, and the cold white cloud tickles his ear before disappearing for good.
He looks at me, his deep eyes cold and tired. They have seen a war, a war fought inside of him. "I miss my brother sometimes- he- he's all I have and he's gone..."
"I have Flintpaw. I never realized how lucky I am..."
Loss is a powerful thing, but the stars and the sky disappear entirely now.
It's all snow. All cold. It wraps around us. It brings us together, my fur against his. His breath on mine. I lean into him, and he leans back into me, letting the snow engulf us. I can almost see the ones I've lost in the bitter cold- Pinepaw, Owlwhisker, Littlepaw... so many more.
He whispers into my ear, "You know, I think they got your name wrong."
I look up at him. "What?"
"No 'ice' could ever make me feel so warm inside."
I smile knowingly. "Well, you know... I've been meaning to ask you for a week..."
"What?"
"I want to keep you warm. We can both be lonely together."
"That wouldn't work. I'm never lonely when I'm with you." His green eyes are teasing. "I love you."
"I love you too."
Fire and ice.
