What Not to do in MARVEL Fanfiction

Worst MARVEL fanfiction: Chapter 1

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   Hello. My name is Luna Anne Marie Cammie Jolie Fury. I'm Nick Fury's adopted daughter. 

    I was rescued from a HYDRA experimentation base as a Two-Year-old. I've trained since I was five with Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton used to babysit me.

   When I was fifteen, Loki invaded, and I never got to say goodbye to "Uncle Phil". But the avengers were assembled, and I fought from the shadows, using my HYDRA-given powers to summon spirits to help me. My icy powers gave me an advantage as i stabbed chitauri after chitauri with my two swords.

  I've been an official SHIELD agent since I was seventeen, and have been told that I am better then SHIELD's two greatest fighters, Nat and Melinda May. I can pilot Helicarriers and Zephyrs, and am a specialist.

Maria Hill and Victoria Hand are both my equals when it comes to rank, that is, until HYDRA revealed themselves again and I was captured, and Hand was killed.

  I was experimented on again, gaining two new skills: Super Strength and advanced agility.

  I was rescued by Phil Coulson's team -oh yeah, my dad, Nick, had him resurrected- and i ran around with them for a while.

  Then, i went to work for Tony Stark. I was there when Ultron happened, and I comforted my boss when he felt bad for creating a monster Android. Then I helped Vision when he was born. And things got better once the avengers defeated him.

    "Hey, you're that girl I saw helping us fight." Steve Rogers interrupted Nat and I's sparring session. I had just pinned Romanoff when he came in. I released Nat, and blew some of my perfectly styled, swishing hair from my eyes, blushing. I hoped that I had put on my cherry chapstick to bring our the beautiful red color of my perfectly shaped lips. Ugh I'm so ugly.

    "Yeah. That's me." I strained my sexy SHIELD uniform, and got up. Cap looked at me closely. "Wanna go out for dinner?" He asked. 

    I flashed my perfectly straight teeth, and agreed.

    Oh no. What was I going to wear? I looked awesome in anything, but I'm so ugly! 

    I stared into Steve's blue orbs one more time, and turned back to Natasha for another sparring match. 

   That night, I went out in a sparkly blue and purple ombre dress that showed off my curves at their best. I got my makeup set and (alot of makeup brands, terms, and applying later) then I did my hair, letting the luscious curls fall over my shoulders. Ugh I look terrible. 

    Steve picked me up, and we kissed and made out. 

    We fell in love.

   I was happy for about a week before Steve dumped me for Natasha. Ugh. Now I'm miserable, and crying for days. My mascara was always a blurry mess, and I had no joy in my life.

    Then I met Thor. And we argued for a while. And I laid eyes on his brother, Loki, whom I've miraculously forgiven for invading earth from the depths of my bottomless reserve of kindness and grace. And I found out that WOW! IM HIS DAUGHTER! 

    I was Lokis long lost daughter! And i had his cool shapeshifting powers too!

   And I got mad at Loki for abandoning me, but withing two paragraphs time I was crying tears of joy and calling him Daddy.

    Then I met Bucky.

    And we fell in love.

    Dad wasn't happy.

   "Luna! This is a bad boyfriend choice! I order you to stop dating that man!" Fury yelled.

   I cried for mercy. "But i love him!" I said.

    "It doesn't matter! I forbid you from speaking to that man!" Fury declared.

    "Loki would let me date him!" I bawled.

    "Well IM NOT LOKI!" He slammed my room door and locked me in so that I could think about my non-existent bad behavior. I'm so rebellious.

   I cried I my pillow. Why is my life so terrible?!? I wanna die! 

   Then T'Challa comforted me. I got over Bucky and kissed the king of Wakanda. He dumped Nakia for me. We got engaged. 

    And then Steve came crawling back for mercy because Natasha had dumped him for Clint.

    I accepted him and loved him again. Steve and Luna. Luna and Steve again. Im super forgiving that way.

   "Bye T'Challa!" I yelled to my fiance, and threw the ring out the back of the airplane that steve somehow had with him.

   We flew home to the avengers tower.

   Steve and I had some makeup-kissing. And we ran away together.

    Then Thanos can to earth.

    The wilted Purple grape was really mean. He tried to kill us all. I summoned a random magical unicorn and some spirits and rode off into battle. I used my icy powers to stop all the aliens, amd then used my strength and agility to cut off thanos's gauntlet arm. He roared in pain and called me ugly.

   I broke down and cried because it was true.

   Then Steve and T'Challa comforted me and saved my life. 

    Then I decided that I was a strong independent woman and stepped up and killed thanos.

    I'm such a hero.

   The avengers cheered and lifted me up, carrying me to the palace. There, the Wakandan people gave me the powers of the black panther and decided that I was the only human worthy of taking care of all the infinity stones. 

   But then an angry alien appeared out of nowhere and hurt me bad. 

   I was dying. It was super dramatic as Steve cradled me and promised that I would be okay. I told everyone goodbye. They promised to commemorate me with a giant vibranium statue. I cried. My boyfriend is so sweet.

   Then doctor strange came from somewhere and healed me.

   Yay! I'm alive! 

   I carried the infinity gauntlet out, and used the stones to make it rain chocolate and gummibears.

   Steve and i got married, and had seven kids with really long, pointless names. They were all perfect and I had no problems or remaining stretch marks from my pregnancies. 

   And we all lived happily ever after.

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(A/N) oh my gosh that was super painful to write. I hope it adequately points out the clichés of marvel fanfiction .

     -nightsisterkaris