Dying Daisies

Chapter 1 : Dwindling hope

It had been months since the "accident ", my life had been a spiral of black holes since then my best friend died, my first crush hated me, then my laughter and slowly my grades, life slowly slipped away leaving me in the darkness unknowing, uncontrolling. I don't really know where I am. I'm just here or just there. The majority have given up on me, my mom my dad even my friends the only one who hasnt left me from that last group is Jonothan Black, ironicly he's my light in the dark, the only thing that keeps me breathing. I've never told him this though, I dont know how many of his shirts I've ruined by crying, he doesnt mind though, he only seems to grip me tighter as if knowing thats the only thing that keeps me together, The two of us who had once been the three of us , Dylan, Isaac and I, memories of laughing in the corridors, pranks... my thoughts trailed off , shutting my eyes agaisnt the sudden pain, No. Not yet, it was still too soon. how could I have been so silly letting myself drift would get me no where, and far from "recovering" as the doctors would say. I couldnt blame them for not knowing what to do how many of their friends had been killed by wreckless teenagers stealling cars and getting high not caring who it might effect.. or how they would end up. Dead. Thats how they all ended up, five in total. Dylan, and four other stupid kids, I say kids not because of how selfish they were but for their age, they were fourteen. And adding insult to injury one of those "kids" was Damien my hyped up little brother. its two in the morning, you would think I'd have better things to do such as sleep. I dont get much of that lately, and its the only way to stop the nightmares.

Sitting , staring bleekly at my froot loops, stabbing them with my spoon, i knew what i would see if i looked up my parent's disbelieving faces saying my depression was hormone related, "millions are coursing through you thats why your not feeling completely right today, Sara" then if things couldnt get any better Craven, our beautiful little japanese girl we adopted five years ago when she was two. would look up wih those large startled black eyes and say that she loved me and that "My not-rightnous would make me right." This is what greeted me in the mornings. My mothers concern showed even as she tried to cover it up with a smile, "oh sweetheart", she would sigh. Giving me that exasperated look of hers. After another night of my constant screaming. I refused to look away from her grey eyes that were identical to my own, determined to win a pointless competition my mother wasn't even aware she was in.

A clap, and my father singing Happy. Walking into the kitchen oblivious to what was unfolding the challenge on my face and the desperation and worry on my mothers he paused becoming acutely aware of the silence he disturbed, shock slapped across his features within a second his guards were up and he was at my mothers side. Ready to be her "support" Right, now may be a good time to go... dumping the remains of my soggy cereal in the sink, thinking up an excuse while reaching for the fruit bowl digging around until I felt the smoothness of my granny smith apple. Leaving the kitchen, searching for my bags which carried my horde of textbooks and exercise books, but before I could slam the door, trying to drown out my parents worried voices with heavy steps. Cravens velvety voice drifted down the hallway, "Mommy... why doesn't Sara smile anymore?"