Above All Else

Chapter 3

As much as Caroline wanted to rush to Klaus's side she controlled herself and went slowly to where she figured the barrier was. Hello! She didn't want or need to fall flat on her butt. The closer she got to him she felt a strange pressure in the air until it seemed to pop and she was rounding the couch and standing right next to him. Caroline tried calling his name but still got no response.

Please don't let him freak out and attack me! She thought as she knelt down and sat next to him pulling his upper body towards her to cradle him in her arms angling them away from the spot where Kol had died. The tears were still pouring down his face and he still seemed to be lost inside his own mind the movement didn't seem to even register with him. His breathing was choppy and labored and his throat made strangling noises with every other breath. Caroline didn't know what to do? How do you comfort a thousand year old Hybrid who despised showing any type of weakness?

"Shh. Klaus I'm here. It's ok." Rocking him gently and holding him tightly she whispered soothingly to him. "You are not alone Klaus. I'm here. Shh." She continued repeating over and over for what seemed like hours, with tears of her own falling down onto his head, until he finally seemed to notice where he was.

Klaus felt a shiver flow through him; Caroline was holding him, her soft voice a melody whispering in his ear that he wasn't alone. That she was here. He tightened his arms around her afraid that if he'd let go he would find it was all just a figment of his tired mind.

"Hey. It'll be ok alright?" Finally she was getting through to him. She felt his arms tighten around her again as she lifted one of her own to wiped the tears from her face. "Look at me Klaus." His only response was to grip her even more. It seemed to her he needed a little push to snap out of his daze. Putting her hands on the sides of his face she repeated her request a little more sternly. "Klaus. Look at me now." While pulling his face up to her own to look into his eyes.

When Klaus raised his eyes to her the watery lost look in his blue eyes choked her causing more tears to build in her own. She internally tried to get a hold of herself. "Breathe with me now ok?" Caroline took exaggerated deep slow breaths waiting for him to follow her lead. Once he did she rubbed soft circles on his cheeks with her thumbs.

"Good. That's right. Keep breathing with me Klaus." She forced him to maintain eye contact with her by keeping her hands on his face as she calmly spoke to him again. "I'm not going anywhere ok? I'm here. You are not alone Klaus, but I need you to come back to me ok?" Caroline could see the clarity returning in his eyes the more she talked and breathed with him, continuing the soft circles with her thumbs.

Understanding and awareness started to flood back into Klaus. Caroline wasn't a beautiful lie made up by his mind, she really was offering her comfort and her light to him. Gazing into her blue eyes that showed such a depth of compassion brought such a strange, peacefully feeling over him that he had never experienced in his very long life. Klaus let himself relish in the feeling of contentment, of belonging to something greater than anything he had ever felt for a few moments before closing his eyes and tucking it away deep within him so he could look back at it during his loneliest of times. Opening his eyes once more he tried to do what had been second nature to him and shut down his feelings. He wrapped his hands delicately around Caroline's wrist to remove her temptingly warm hands from his face. As he pulled himself out of her consoling and caring embrace he felt the cold and darkness return to him as never before, but it was for the best. He did not deserve her warmth and she deserved so much more than to cradle a monster like him to her breast.

Klaus stood and could see the confusion and worry in Caroline's sea blue eyes as she stood as well. He watched as her arms moved as if to pull him back into her blanket of light again. Oh how Klaus wished he was worthy of it. Shaking himself out of that line of thought before he gave in again he cleared his throat. "I deeply appreciate all that you have done for me and my br...brother Caroline. But I'm fine. Nothing I cannot handle on my own you may go now."

Caroline couldn't believe how rapidly he had shut himself down. There was no emotion in him at all, it sounded as if he was talking to a business acquaintance. It scared her more than anything she had ever seen before. "No I told you I'm not going anywhere and you most defiantly do not need to be alone right now."

Klaus chose to ignore her fear and concern. "Did you happen to find the scotch? I could really use a drink." Turning away from her to casually walk over to the doorway and lean against it with his back facing her. The turmoil inside of him was running ramped. Why after all these years of easily pushing his emotions down into the pit of himself was this time so much more difficult? He knew the answer before he even finished the question to himself. It was her. Caroline. He yearned for what she was freely offering him more than he had ever yearned for anything in his existence, including breaking his curse. He tried yet again to put off that he felt nothing that was raging inside of him. "If you could bring that to me before you leave that would be fantastic."

Caroline couldn't take it anymore. He was shutting down more and more now he wasn't even looking at her for Christ sakes! She marched her way over to him and yanked his arm to spin him to face her. "I will not let you do this damn it!"

He let a mocking smirk form on his face fighting to keep the emotions roiling in him out of his eyes. "Do what Sweetheart? Hmm?"

Caroline was not going to let his cold demeanor faze her. She put herself into his person space as he so loved to do whenever he was trying to intimidate someone. "Shut yourself down. Turn your emotions, your humanity off. I will not allow you to do this Klaus!"

He scoffed in her face and tried to turn away "I do not need nor do I want your help Caroline. Leave."

She was having none of it from him and spun him right back to her. "I don't believe you. And I will not let you push me away! Why are you doing this Klaus? Why won't you just let me help! I am reaching out despite everything you have done and you still won't get out of your own way! Why?"

Klaus grabbed her by her arms and pulled her so close she could feel his breath rush across her lips as he finally caved and shouted "Because I don't deserve it from you! I don't deserve any type of peace!"

Stunned all the fight left her with a gush of air from her lungs. "What?"

"Don't you see Sweetheart?" He laughed mockingly but she could tell as he shook his head it was at himself. "I did this. I killed my brothers. I destroyed my family simply by being born. I kill and enjoy every moment of it all. I push everyone and everything good away but not before I rip it all into so many pieces it can never be put back together again. Would you care to know why Caroline?" He raised his eyebrow and smirked sarcastically. "It's because I'm pure evil and just can't help myself. So as much as I may want your light and the comfort you are willingly offering to me, I am in no way worthy to have it." With that he pushed her away from him and went back to leaning against the doorway looking out and away from her, struggling to regain control over his wayward emotions yet again.

As hard as it was to hear, Caroline could read between the lines of what he was saying. She could read him. It was scary how much alike they truly were she realized. Both of them want to be needed, wanted, to be loved and to love. But neither felt they were good enough. Herself with always feeling second best and Klaus with his feelings of never deserving or being worthy of what he truly wanted, their similarities in their insecurities was astounding. But it was because of their similar egos as well that she knew she had him.

"So you are admitting that you want me here with you then?"

Klaus turned and looked at her awestruck that that is what she took from what he had said. No one had ever looked past his anger or past his verbal tantrums to see his true wishes and wants. Caroline giggled at the look on his face. She giggled at him! He had ripped off heads for less than that yet all he could do towards her was open and close his mouth like a damn fish.

"And seeing as that it what you want and you are the Big Bad Hybrid who always gets what he wants, I guess I'll be staying then." With one last smile full of triumph she turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen full of confidence. She only prayed that she could continue straight through the barrier so as not to make a fool of herself after she so obviously won this round with him. She felt the pressure around her again as she hit the barrier, she looked over her shoulder smirking at him as the pressure popped once again, "So how about that scotch?"