Red As Roses and Black As Night

7. Field Trip Of Quietus

When the very unhelpful session was over, Illea walked with me to art. I knew she wanted to say something, but I guess she either didn't want to say or say it where people could listen. Before we entered the art classroom, I turned to her. "Do I look like I've been crying?"

"Not really. Except for the fact your eyes and nose are red and you have tear trails on your cheeks."

The final bell rang, and Illea threw open the door. "NOT LATE!" she cried, making me laugh. I decided to act like I had a cold, so when Ms. Pana opened her mouth to contradict, I sneezed on the counter. I held a hand to my nose to make it look like I was hiding snot and looked around for a tissue box. Ms. Pana's face crinkled up and she threw it at me. Yeah, she's that kind of teacher.

I blew my nose--luckily when I cry snot comes out so there was still stuff coming out--and making everyone cringe. Blowing your nose in class is always something people who have high social confidence have. I do not, but most people think I do. I'm not a real bad boy. "Cheat" on my girlfriend, she finds out, and then I "dump" the girl I cheated on. Thing is, that's not serious bad-boy material unless you're in Heber Springs. I'm probably the only dude who's "cheated". Even then, it wasn't my fault. Let's just say I went to a party, got drugged, blacked out, and woke up with a girl next to me. Never went to a party again after that, even if they claim it's safe. The girl said I was willing and they all believed her. Why? Because that's how society works. Girls get harassed or raped? Oh my gosh, go to jail. Guys get harassed or raped? Can't happen.

Ha, guess again.

I blew my nose in anger this time. I lost the most precious person to me because of that evil girl. I'm taking guilty pleasure in the fact she committed suicide when he own boyfriend found out and broke up with her. She was actual nuts. Not like Illea or the kids at my bus stop, but actual nuts. Needs-to-go-to-mental-hospital nuts. Talks-to-trees-and-yells-at-furniture nuts. Threatens-to-kill-you-with-a-spoon-if-you-don't-say-hi-to-her nuts.

Illea sensed my change in mood and backed to her table, leaving me with Henri. I sat beside him, spinning a paintbrush between my fingers. "Dude, you're sick and touching that all over. You better wash it all off." Henri whispered, pointing to the brush. I shrugged and tried not to snap it in half.

Art class went by too quickly for my liking. As I sat on my bus, my heart began to pound. I couldn't go back home. Nothing is waiting for me there, not anymore. I would have to go to Illea's house. Where my sister is.

Where answers are.

Cop cars were at my house. I hid behind me seat so the bus driver doesn't think I'm here, and she continued on the route. I came off the bus, hunched down, with some ninth graders and a twelfth grader. All of them looked at me like I was crazy, but I ignored them and kept walking. I stopped on Illea's porch, clenching the straps of my book bag. I turned around and went back down the steps, thinking of Henri. Then turned around and went back up, thinking of Emma. Turned back around, thinking of what I left at home and the cops. Turned back to the porch, thinking of Emma. As I turned around again, the front door opened and a mocking voice asked, "Are you broken?"

I looked up to find a young child I remember to be Ezekiel. Illea was quickly walking to the door, glaring at her brother. "Are you here just to walk in circles or are you coming in?"

"I'm coming." I muttered, going up the porch steps once again. Illea looked over my shoulder warily, as if expecting another person. I stepped inside her house, smelling cookies. I heard my sister from somewhere in the house, giggling. I didn't know what to do though. Like, do I take my shoes off? Do I put my book bag down? Do we even stay here?

"You can take your shoes off. I'll show you around, because you aren't going back home. You shouldn't, anyway. Take your book bag, unless you have homework. I don't, ever. Follow me." she told me, closing the door. I slid of my shoes hesitantly at the door next to a bunch of other shoes. She led me down the hall and pointed to a room with a TV and a couch. "That's the den. Or living room, depending on how you use your vocabulary. If you ever want to watch TV, do it when Ramiel and Uriel aren't home. Like now." she continued walking on, and pointed to the kitchen where I could see my sister and the one I remember to be Gabriel. He booped her nose with cookie dough, and she tried to lick it off. "This is the kitchen. Gabe bakes a lot, but Michael does the cooking. Don't touch anything in here." she told me quietly, leading me to the last part of the downstairs. "This is the dining room where we eat the om of noms. Nothing else. Across the hall is Ezekiel and Ramiel's room. Now, upstairs we go."