Bad Boy Is Back [Harry Styles Fan Fiction] ON HOLD

Chapter - Eighteen

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Alyssa's P.O.V

I once thought that when falling in love, it would be magical and full of never ending blissful moments that you are to share with whom you love. I thought that whoever I might someday fall in love with, would love me unconditionally and with just as much passion, that he too would want blissful moments as much as I do.

As far as I was concerned, my life was never the best. I lost my father at such a young age, it tore my family apart. Literally speaking, I was clinically depressed for awhile. I really wish that wasn't the case, but it was. And there was no undoing what had already begun.

It's ironic, that sentence reminds me so much of Harry and our relationship. And there was no undoing what had already begun. I know that he warned me long ago, he warned me he was no good but I like sad cases. I like to fix the wounded, I like to love with everything in me and that's where I went wrong I suppose.

When we moved here, it was supposed to be something new and exciting. I can't say that the past four years of my life haven't been completely new and exciting, but I can say that he had ruined me like promised.

I've always had a habit of choosing the wrong crowd, and I wish I could say these people were the right crowd but they aren't. If they were the right crowd I'd be living a normal life, trying to grow, in a relationship that made me happy nonetheless. I'm not saying that he never made me happy, I'm saying I wish he made me happier. I'm saying that I wish he didn't run off and make stupid mistakes, I wish that he didn't speak out of his ass.

I love that man, this man that is horrible for me but so completely good for me. He's a challenge, and our relationship has always been a challenge, something I've always needed but he keeps pushing me away.

I'm more than tired of it, he can't trust. He can't love completely, because that part of him isn't fixed because he would never let me fully heal him.

And now I'm here, left completely miserable at my mothers home.

I've missed my old bedroom, everything has basically stayed the same. The bed, the sheets, the dresser that was decorated with a few of my things that I left behind, the rug, just everything.

I've honestly just missed the comfort of my home.

I was sitting on the little couch, resting area that was built into the house right beside the window. It was raining again, only making my mood more gloomy. I stared outside, wondering what to do with my life and where to go from here.

I mean, I have the right to say he's done this one two many times right? I have the right to put my foot down and just surrender to him, tell him that he won and that I am officially broken down, I can tell him that he succeeded in ruining me like planned.

A knock came from my bedroom door, making me slip out of my dysfunctional thoughts. "Come in," I said quietly, keeping my gaze and full on attention to the outside.

"Sweetheart..." I heard my mothers sweet voice, another ping of pain running through my veins. I felt it everywhere, the overall pain it was everywhere.

Swallowing down the growing lump in my throat, I could feel my eyes begin to burn but I hold back. Turning my head in the direction my mothers voice is coming from, I give her my full attention. With a wry smile, she enters fully. "I didn't have much planned for dinner, I was thinking maybe we could go out or order out." She suggested, giving me a compassionate smile. "I could definitely run to the grocery store and make whatever you want."