Bad Boy Is Back [Harry Styles Fan Fiction] ON HOLD

Chapter - Fifteen

(A/N): Can I be honest with you guys? I just really need to vent and be truthful. I feel like I'm failing, now I'm usually pretty confident with myself. And not in a conceited way at all, but in a way that I've accepted my flaws and worked through most of them. Sure, I do writing for your entertainment but I also do it for me, because I thought it was something I was good at it. Music, and writing are my escapes. I'm lost like many other people, and I've been trying to find myself for years. Loosing hope in myself has never been an option, but you know how you feel just so alone and the emotions get so overwhelming that you surrender to them? Music and writing helps me conquer all of that, most of the time. When I'm panicking, when I'm crying, when I'm angry I resort to the two things that make me happy, and I feel like I'm failing a it. I look at all of these other amazing, and brilliant writers and I'm immediately back to that insecure little girl. They have millions or hundreds of thousands of reads plus thousands or even hundred of thousands comments and votes and I look at mine and hate my writing immediately. The comments make my day brighter, they make me feel like I'm doing something right. And I appreciate the amount I've been getting, and this is in no way a petty talk trying to get more comments. I'm just writing down how I feel because I need to let it out. I see hundreds of comments on one chapter and think wow. These are some brilliant writers, what am I? I hope I'm not failing you all to much, because I'm failing myself.

Thank you for letting me vent. Vote and comment, I love you all xoxo.

Alyssa's P.O.V

I could feel my heart sinking into my stomach as I let the words sink in, I have to be honest with myself though. Was I expecting this? I've undeniably had so much hope in Harry, I've given him unconditional love. Well, the best I could. But I can't stop asking myself that question, was I expecting this?

And I don't know how to feel, or what to say. What am I supposed to say? What does any women say when the love of their life declares their love for another person. I honestly don't know the answer, I don't know if I'm supposed to fall to my knees, curl up in a ball and cry. As cliche as that sounds, and I don't know if I'm supposed to yell and go out into a full rage.

I do know one thing though, I've done it to myself. I sent him to her, I practically gave him to her.

My mouth is dry, and not cooperating because I can't get a single word out. "I-I" I stammered,

He was pacing, tugging at the ends of his hair a habit he did when he was confused or angry. "How do I respond to that?" I asked him quietly, the newly horrifying information not completely sinking in yet.

I don't even want an explanation, how sick does that sound? I'm so defeated, so utterly defeated that I don't want to hear another word coming out of his mouth. Maybe it is me, maybe I can't do anything right because I seem to mess everything up. I'm basically ruining my relationship with my family, neglecting them. I've neglected my preparation for my education and haven't figured out how to deal with my finances.

"I don't know." He said, looking up at him I bit my lip. 

He stared at me, then continued to speak. "I don't really know what happened, she ran out into the ran and I chased her. Next thing I knew I was declaring my love for her and leaning in for a ki-"

"Stop." I whimpered, putting a hand up in surrender. "I can't, I don't want to hear the story."

Looking around the room, I closed my eyes momentarily. I could feel my leg shaking as I tried to stay calm. "You're a pig."

Snapping my gaze in his direction, I watched as his eyes went directly on me. "A complete coward." I spat,

"Was this your plan the entire time!?" I asked, a gasp mixed with a sob left my lips. "to go there, and declare your undying affection to her?!"

"You told me to go, you urged me to go!" He yelled,

"So once again your mistake is my fault?" I laughed dryly, a tear slipping down my cheek.

"I warned you," he told me, his voice low. "I warned you the moment you stepped foot here that I was going to ruin you."

"Four years!" I screamed, "four years," I repeated

"You think now, after four years is he time to say this shit to me?!"

"You kissed her!" I cried,

He was about to speak but I shook my head, stepping aside. "Go, just go." I gestured toward the door.

"Get out, I never want to see you again."

He seemed like he was about to speak again, but he didn't. He looked at the ground, then back up at me before brushing past me and slamming the door shut behind him.

Sinking to the floor, I held onto my chest tightly. It hurt so bad, and it shouldn't. After the countless times I've seen to go through this, but it did. It felt like knifes were piercing my skin repeatedly. After a few minutes of calming down, I knew what I had to do.

Grabbing my phone, I began dialing the familiar number. "Hello?"

"I-I, can you come pick me up please?" I cried,

"Alyssa?" He said slowly, a growl leaving his lips."I- I'll be right there, what did he do?"

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(A/N): I was going to do Harrys Point of View but I decided this would be a good ending point for this chapter. I know so many cliffhangers, but don't be to angry with me yet.