Bad Boy Is Back [Harry Styles Fan Fiction] ON HOLD

Chapter - Twenty.

(A/N): Don't forget to comment and vote. Oh my gosh, so my mom got this fantastic new computer that I am in love with because she's letting me write on it for you all. I'm getting my new one within the week but I love it! It's so much easier then the half ass one I've been using.

Alyssa's P.O.V

My chest aches as I watch the road in front of me, my window is open a crack so I don't suffocate and the icy cold wind is unforgiving. I shiver, wrapping my arms around me in an attempt to keep me warm.

"I can turn up the heat." For a moment I forget that I'm in the car with someone I shouldn't be, I just nod my head keeping my gaze elsewhere.

I stay quiet, there isn't much to say at this point.

"How are you?" He asks and I'm baffled.

"How am I?" I turn to look at him.

I try to keep my cool as he glances at me with a completely neutral expression.

"Yeah." He nods his head, licking his lips. His eyes are still on the road, and I continue to stare at him astonished. "I mean...are you, erm. Okay?"

"How are you?" I surprise myself by asking, letting out a sigh of relief  as the car warms up.

"I asked first." He responds.

I can't help the quiet yet fake chuckle that leaves my lips, we are really doing this? This is far from how I imagined our first encounter since the last time we've seen each other, sure it's only nearly been a week but it's been long enough. I'm not really sure how I imagined it going to be honest, I didn't think I'd be so, I can't even think of the word. Calm I guess.

"I'm fine." I mumble, annoyed with how the entire situation is going.

He glances at me again, and I can feel my heart hammering against my chest.

"I see that." His voice is faint, and flat. His tone is hard and slightly angry, but what right does he have?

"How are you?" I ask again, I want him to beg for me back. I want him to say he's miserable without me, I'd go for any shed of actual emotion.

But I don't get that.

"I'm fine too."

"Why haven't you," I stop, unsure of where I am going with this and unsure if I even want this conversation to happen. "Why haven't you called?"

His lips part, a sigh leaving his lips. He's clearly taken back by my question, but how compassionate can I really be? He doesn't say anything, but he pulls into an empty parking lot. "I don't know, why would I?"

He cuts right through me, knocking down any sort of dignity I had. "Why would you?" I scoff, a dry laugh escaping my lips.

I'm getting overpowered with anger, and all sorts of emotions and this is going to end badly. "you're pathetic."

"I'm pathetic?" He scoffs,

"Yes!" I finally yell, my emotions getting the best of me. "Why would you call? Do you have any idea what I have been going through the past week!? I've been hurt... so incredibly hurt! And I was waiting, like a fucking idiot! And then you come here, ask to talk but why would you call!" I yell, mocking him somewhat.

"You have no fucking clue what I've been feeling either!" He yelled back at me, "you think you know everything, Alyssa. But you don't know a damn thing!"

I want to get out, I want to run. I just want to run as far as I can away from him and this godforsaken place. I wish my mother never dragged me here, I wish I never met him because it would spare me so much pain that I didn't even know I could endure.

"Tell me then! Tell me what was more important than fighting for me Harry."

I'm crying the last thing I want to be doing is crying, I want to turn it off. All of my feelings, I just wish there was some type of switch.

Harry's P.O.V

What does she want from me? I'm literally battling myself right now and watching her cry is making everything I've done even harder. I've felt it to, I've felt just as much pain maybe I deal with it differently but I feel it to.

I'm trying to help her, save her. I want to be the bigger man and let her go, but she's so damn stubborn and I can't leave her with someone like Zach. And I'm selfish if I try to reel her in again because I'll just try and doing another fucked up thing next.

The only option here is giving her a chance to be with someone much better for her. I believe deep fucking down that she wants someone like her too. Someone that can provide for her and keep her safe, someone that doesn't have such a fucked up past, someone that won't hurt her in her future. She believes that she loves me, and she believes that this will all work out but I'm a pro at ruining everything that's good for me. Which means I'll ruin her, she'll hate me in the end.

Watching her cry shows me how bad I really am for her, I am no fucking good for her. She'll be corrupted by me forever and never be the same after, if I beg for her forgiveness now, right here, in this parking lot. Then she'll be exactly what I don't want her being, her innocence will be completely gone, and she'll never love again.

I can't change for her. "I don't want you feeling this way anymore, move on. I've declared my love for someone else, I kissed someone else."

I'm lying to her, directly to her face but it's for her own good. I can feel the anger and hatred radiating off of her, and I nearly wince but I can't.

"H-how could you do this to me? After all that we've been through, I was ready to leave you Harry!" She screams at me, tears pouring out of her eyes. "I was ready to fucking leave you that day, and you reeled me back in. You begged me to stay, you said you would change!"

I wince, she's right and I'm selfish. I want to scream at her, tell her I love her more then life. Tell her that I'm doing all of this for her, because she deserves a bright and better future but I can't. I shrug my shoulders. "You were with Zach."

Her mouth parts slightly, and I know I've caught her off guard. "Did you sleep with him?"

"What!?" She gasps, "Do you really think that low of me?"

I shrug, shaking my head. "Alyssa, what the fuck am I supposed to think."

"Fuck you!" She yells at me, my face contorts in confusion. "I would never, in a million fucking years hurt you the way you've hurt me!"

I shut my eyes tightly. I know baby, I know.

"What do you want me to say?" I sigh,

"I want you to stop, stop doing all of this bullshit. Stop with the lying and everything else." She says quietly, sniffling. "Why can't you just once, once in your entire life open up to me."

I stay quiet.

"Stop being a coward, Harry."

"Stopping being naive, Alyssa." I snap at her before I can stop myself, I can see the pain wash over her face. She's defeated and that was my purpose, to let her move on and hate me.

"You want me to hate you?" She cries,

I shake my head, "you should already hate me."

"Take me home, it's done." She says quietly, "you win, it's done."