99 Days

Day 24 Wednesday

That night me and Ethan stayed up watching movies he had lying around. I didn't care what we watched, I just wanted something to do. To keep my mind off of things. It worked well according to him. I was passed out within three movies. I didn't even remember falling asleep which is good I guess.

I still didn't want to go to school but now I didn't mind too much. It was just something to keep my mind off of home. I made sure I kept myself plenty busy. If I wasn't busy I layed my head down and started counting so I could fall asleep. Which is what I did during lunch.

After school we went to one of Ethan's friend's house. Well his apartment. I think his name was Juan, but I'm not sure. Ethan and him were looking at some games they were trading and I kinda just sat on the couch and looked out the window. I was bored. I didn't care for any of the games Juan had. Outside looked peaceful, everything was quiet and calm, no one was out and about.

I think I zoned out because Ethan was yelling my name trying to get my attention. He said that it was time to go and so we left, walking back to his house in the nice late summer weather. When we got to his house I told him I was going to take a shower and headed upstairs. The shower water was hot, it was welcoming. This was one of the very few times I had to myself. I let my mind wandered to my parents. How mad I was at them. Then I let my mind wandered to my previous years, all the bullying I went through. How much I hated myself. I looked down at my legs and started counting the multiple burn scars I had given myself. I hated myself for the pain I caused to myself, and the pain they caused me. Everyone in my life has brought pain upon me. Everyone but Ethan.