chase the light. whether it is sunshine or a lamp. always chase the light. it will be easy to allow the darkness to engulf you, but the easy way is almost never the better choice.
sit beneath a tree in the middle of the playground in your hometown. read a book, and when the words start to float before you, watch the swings swing back and forth. the periodic motion will hold your seemingly lost attention for a little while longer. in the background, the children on the swings will giggle and scream, and the sun will generously shower you with its ethereal glow. your hair will look like an angelic shade of brown from the corners of your eyes, and you will love yourself again.
when you return to the city of your choice and leave the familiar sunshine behind, it will be harder to feel beautiful. you have always loved the skyscrapers and they have finally drawn you here. stand on one of their rooftops; the sun will be closer to you up there. look down, and watch the chaos. the moment of peace that follows will remind you of when you were a little girl with an ice cream on a rainy day; your problems will slowly melt away like your ice cream, and instead of the thunder of the rain you will hear cars. the world will seem to move at a higher velocity than before, but you will be okay.
sometimes, you will need the light when the sun isn't around. turn the light on yourself those days. your mind will distort your thoughts if you let it. turn on the one thing you brought with you when you came to this city- your lamp. study the notes you took that day beneath the light from it. your brain will be forced to accept whatever you feed it. feed it the right things.
if the lamp doesn't work, always remember this- there is a light inside your refrigerator. find yourself that half eaten strawberry tart you saved from earlier that day, turn on some calming music, or listen to the sea waves in your favourite sea shell.
sometimes, none of this will work. your internal switch will not flip no matter what. on those days, go to your balcony. or look out of your window. you are hundreds of feet up in the sky. from here, you can see hundreds of other lights on. in the building to your left and in the one to your right and in the one right in front of you and in all of those that aren't in a definite direction from you. you will find hundreds of other lights. under these lights, there are hundreds of other people. they feel the same things as you. on the days when you can't turn on your own light.. borrow theirs.
