Seeking As-sakeenah

Years before 🥀

Bismillahi rahmanin rahim🍁
In the name of Allah the beneficent the most merciful

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"You don't deserve me" i said as we pulled off at the parking lot

"What did you just say"Hayatudeen said just as i got out of the car "UmmulKalthum, Kalthum" he called out after me as he got out of the car following me inside

He finally got a grip of my hand
"Wait" he said tears already rolling down my cheeks "turn around and look at me" he said pulling me closer, I removed his hand from my arm and continued walking towards the bedroom.

"Can't you be patient" he shouted again. I stoped and turned around

"This is the third time hayat, year five.......what did you do to deserve someone like me"

"Stop........just stop making use of that fucking statement" Hayatudeen shouted. Never before have I ever heard hayat use the 'F' word and it scared me but I didn't stop moving, I moved to the bed and sat by the side of the bed facing the door leading to the balcony.

Hayat let out a sigh

"Okay I'm sorry I shouted" he said sitting next to me "but you don't have the right to say that.......i mean i did everything possible to deserve you" hayat said but I couldn't bring myself to speak to him so he continued "...Kalthum hey Kalthum look at me" he said holding my chin and turning my head in his direction new set of tears started cascading down my cheeks.

"I know Its is not normal even if the doctors say it is " i said in between sobs

"You believe in Allah right? Then know that you have to be patient cause Allah's time is the best. Do you think it doesn't hurt me too, it does right here" he said placing my right hand by the left side of his chest "But i believe in Allah and I'm patient kinji i love you Kalthum mi yidi ma and you know that, so usaini  don't say things you know would hurt me" he completed now joining our foreheads together.

"InshaAllah no more..miscarriages"hayat said making my heart melt in happiness

"Mi yidi ma" was all I could say

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11 months later
(Kalthum on the phone with Hayatudeen)

"How are you doing" Hayat asked his voice all soft and tender i could imagine how he smelled of jawhara

"I'm doing good Alhamdulillah how is lagos"

"Alhamdulillah but being here without you is terrible..." hayat said while yawning

" i miss you more noor"

"How is she doing?" he asked

"Fine she's sleeping.....ehen about the name is it still going to be firdausi?" I asked hoping for a no

"Yes kulthum we spoke about this remember"

"But gbewatina mo indi jamila" (but i want her name to be jamila)i said almost in a rush. He let out a sigh before speaking again

"Wala aibe"(no problem)

"I love you, i love you, i love you...you know, If you were here I would have hugged you and planted many kisses on your handsome face"