sᴜʙ ʀᴏsᴀ || ᴊ.ᴊᴋ + ᴋ.ᴛʜ ✔️

twenty-eight

He wasn't quite sure why it hit him so suddenly. This deep feeling of sorrow, this horrible absence of motivation. He didn't touch his computer or any of his game systems, and he wondered if he were selfish for neglecting them. At the same time, though, a part of him didn't care all that much. Now Jungkook wasn't a depressed person but he imagined being one felt similar to this. Or at least in some way.

School had started again. And it wasn't that Jungkook hated school. He got good grades, he got along with his teachers and classmates, and he was good at sports, so PE class was never something he dreaded. But he never realized how much it would hurt to see Taehyung again in the flesh, especially walking the halls with Jimin, the boy he revealed to have been in love with and tragically rejected by. It was just as Taehyung had said. The two seemed to be on comfortable terms again, conversing in a normal and friendly and silly manner as they had done before. And that alone had always established in Jungkook's heart a seed of jealousy. But of course, it was different now. Jungkook could see it in Taehyung's eyes. That particular presence of sadness that had probably been lingering ever since his confession was turned down. Jungkook tried to ignore it at first. He figured it would be easy. He and Taehyung didn't cross paths and talk all that often, after all, so how hard would it be to distract himself with other things?

It wasn't easy, though. It wasn't easy at all. And apparently, he wasn't very good at hiding this, either.

"Jungkook? You alright, man?"

He didn't even realize he had been staring at his hands for such a long time until a familiar voice caught his attention. Looking up, Jungkook found a classmate and good friend of his gazing at him with concern.

"I'm fine, Jihoon," he lied with a smile. Jihoon sighed.

"Uh-huh." The boy combed a hand through his blonde hair, rolling his eyes. "I've been told I'm pretty dumb before, but c'mon, I'm not dumb enough to believe that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jungkook quirked an eyebrow.

"It means that you're clearly upset about something, Guk."

Jungkook pressed his lips together and glanced at his folded hands yet again. He hadn't suspected someone would catch on. Maybe it really is that obvious. "You caught me," he confessed vaguely. "I'm a little upset."

"Wanna have lunch with me and talk about it?"

Jungkook offered an appreciative smile. "That's really kind of you, Jihoon. But don't you have other friends?"

Jihoon gave a small gasp placed a hand over his heart, drawing his head back. "Is this what they call subtle rejection?? I'm hurt, Guk. I thought we were friends..."

"We are," the other boy laughed. "I just...I don't know if I'm comfortable talking about this with someone. And I'm sure I'll be fine, I just need time."

"Mm. I'm sure."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"Not in the slightest," Jihoon said. "C'mon, Guk. To the roof, we're having lunch."

He reached out and took hold of Jungkook's arm, lifted him out of his chair, and guided him to the classroom's exit, happily humming as he tuned out everything around him, including his friend Soonyoung's questions as to why he had 'captured poor Jungkook as his prisoner'. Jihoon didn't stop walking until he had made it to his destination--the roof of the school, where, thankfully, almost no one came to hang out. Emphasis on 'almost'. There were two people on one end of the roof, a blonde boy with glasses and some guy with mint-green hair. Wanting some privacy and also not to bother them, Jihoon took Jungkook over to an empty spot and the two sat down.

"I've got tteotbokki." Jihoon dug into his bag and pulled out a large container filled with the aforementioned item. "A lot. We can share."

"You don't have to," said Jungkook as he took out his own lunch--white rice and pork. He had scarcely managed to grab it before Jihoon dragged him out of the classroom.

"Aw, but I want to. In return," Jihoon began, clapping his chopsticks together as he hovered them over his friend's lunchbox. "You can let me try some of yours."

"Since you're practically already drooling over it, fine."

"Yesss...."

The two friends sat in silence for a few minutes, casually picking at each other's food as though this was something they did often. Jihoon was a friendly guy. Easy to be around. Jungkook liked that about him. He just didn't expect Jihoon to be the observant or openly comforting type as he was trying to be now.

"So what's on your mind, Guk?" He shoved some rice into his mouth. "Girl troubles?"

"...close," Jungkook replied hesitantly.

"Boy troubles?"

"It's more complicated than that," he said, as if to justify himself. Jihoon frowned slightly.

"D'you have your heart broken?"

"...in a sense, I guess I did."

"How so?"

"To be general about it, the person I like is in love with someone else, but that person doesn't like them back."

Jihoon hummed thoughtfully. "Well...isn't that...good for you?"

"No," Jungkook said immediately. "It's not good. Because it's been months since he confessed, and yet I can still see that he's sad about it. Really sad. And...and I'm sad. We're not close or anything, so it's not like I can just walk up to him and offer to comfort him."

"I did that to you, though."

"We're friends, that's different."

"And you're not friends with him?"

"Like I said...it's complicated..."

"Mm." Jihoon scanned Jungkook's expression, hoping to grasp at a strand of understanding, something recognizable so that he could know just what to say in response. He had some kind of experience with this sort of thing, in the sense that he comforted a friend of his who went through a tough breakup a while ago. But something was different about this. Jungkook wasn't going through a breakup, and yet his eyes held traces of all the feelings accompanied with one--sadness, confusion, guilt. Guilt more than anything, actually. That's what puzzled Jihoon.

"You look like you've done something wrong, Guk." He fed his sad friend a small piece of rice cake. "You know, just because you can't be the one to help this boy, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. His unrequited love isn't your fault. Though it's completely understandable to be upset for someone else's sake, especially over something like that. I'm just saying..." He patted Jungkook's shoulder. "Try not to blame yourself so much, okay?"

It wasn't hard to smile back at him sincerely, but at the same time, there was still a distinct misery in Jungkook's expression that he couldn't stow away. "Thanks," he said softly. "You're...a really good friend, Jihoon. But I'm afraid there're other reasons I feel guilty about this. And I'm sorry, I can't really tell you about it now. I think I have to sort things out with myself before I can tell anyone."

Jihoon nodded, still smiling warmly. "I understand. You don't need to apologize, Guk. You just take you time. And if you ever need someone to talk to, your boy Jihoon'll be here for ya, 'k?" He held out a fist, and Jungkook took the hint to hit it with his own.

"Thanks, Jihoon."