More human than me // RK800 Connor x Male!Reader

Chapter 8: Lost.

I'm giving you new skills as time goes, don't judge me.

This chapter is very sad, be warned.

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PM 07:40

Y/N POV.

I've been laying on my couch for some hours now, the doctors said that I need to "rest" whatever that means. The pain killers stopped working a few minutes ago, but strangely I'm not in any pain.

I stare at my ceiling, thinking of what I did, and how I did it.

-How did I not stop to look inside myself and ask: what am I doing with life? What would Hank and Connor think? And most importantly, will I ever see them again? -I laugh tiredly, rubbing my face with my hands.

I get up and head to my bed.

I put my cellphone to charge and lay down, hiding my face into the pillows. I look at my wall and turn of the lights off letting the darkness consume the room. I lay in silence for a while, thinking about Connor.

-Why didn't he push me away?- I say, thinking about what he did.

-He always hugs me when I cry, but why? Why the fuck does a killing machine comfort me, when I'm sad? That doesn't seem like something that should be programmed on the deviant fucking hunter. -I say, every word getting louder as I get more frustrated.

-It just doesn't make sense, he's- it's- Connor's not supposed to do that! -I yell as I sit up.

-He's supposed to be boring, cold and emotionless, but he's the exact opposite of that... what is wrong with me? -I whisper, blinking away a few tears.

-Am I the one imagining things or is Connor actually… soft?

-Why don't these feelings go away? Please, I don't want him to hate me, I don't know if he can, but I'll do anything for him not to.-I whisper yell, burying my head roughly into my pillow.

-What do I do?-I say, my voice weak and muffled as my body violently shakes.

My chest starts to burn and burn, I try to breathe, but I can't, my lugs feel like they're full of salt water, I try to reach for my phone, but I fall out of my bed into what should be the ground, but it's not.

The ground it's not there, it's just a horizon of water, I gasp in shock but that only causes more water to enter my lungs, I quickly cover my mouth in an indescribable pain, I try to swim upwards but my every move only pulls me deeper, I give up on fighting and I grip my chest, I can feel myself crying, but it's hard to see a drop of water on the ocean.

I try scream, call out for help, but no sounds come out, my vision start to get darker until I can't see.

I jolt up awake on the floor, heavy breathing, crying, and sweating like crazy. I look around me, I'm in my living room, I apparently slept on the couch, I lay my head down once again, trying to breath in and out as calmly as possible, I get up and go to my room, this time really laying on my bed.

I lay awake for a few minutes trying to calm myself down, until I feel a vibration in my pocket, I reach for it, it's my phone, there's an unknown number calling me, I stare at the screen for a few seconds, hesitant, but I pick it up.

-Hello?-I say noticing my voice is very very horse, like a dying raccoon, but deeper.

-Detective Y/N, it's me Connor, I know that you are in need of rest, but we have a new case and I need your assistance. Do you know where lieutenant Anderson lives?

-Yeah, why?

-I'm at the entrance of his house, he isn't responding, do you know how to pick a lock by any chance?