My friends and lovers

The Meeting

His bald head glowed in the sun, and I could see my beautiful reflection in it. His abs looked like that fish from Sponge-bob, but he was perfect, rich and old. He felt me pat his dome-like head glittering like a bauble on a Christmas Tree. He turned, smiling as best as he could with no teeth.

Behind him, my accomplice sneaked away, crying as she held the bag with all his fortune in it. Her nose was perfect, her skin as well, her chin and her *chicken breasts*. It was all fake, even her lips that caught the tears like a bucket. I waved her onward, before Jeff could spot her on his bald head.

But suddenly, my Gucci was dirty. I gave it to Jeff and instead of handing it to the maid, he dived into the pool and washed it upon his washboard abs. My Gucci was clean again, even if I was not. My accomplice sneaked through the lady doors, her *chicken breasts* pushing the door open before her hands could. It was time for step two of our plan.

A dude entered a hot tub, and I pushed Jeff into it with him. They were not gay and were five feet apart. But the plan would still work. As Jeff tried to paddle out of the pool, his bald head blinded the other dude, turning him gay instantly. He grasped at Jeff, and passionately kissed him. They were gay now, and definitely not five feet apart.

"I'm calling my lawyer!" I screamed, crying harder then I did after seeing my 2 in Science GCSE.

Jeff waved me off, but I knew he wouldn't be when I stole everything from him. Our prenup stated that if Jeff became gay because of a dude in a hot tub, I would receive everything he owned. And that is how I, became the Empress of Amazon.com.