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CHAPTER FIVE / VOL. I, SHE HOPES I'M CURSED FOREVER
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LOVE IS CONDITIONAL. Will knows this to be true because her father has taught her the way of the world—that love will come and go as mercurial as the weather, dependent on what you have to offer and whether or not you're worthy of their time. Love is too fickle to mean anything. It will never last. Will has always seen it this way—at least since she'd been alone for so long—any unconditional love from her mother goes forgotten and all that's left is rot. But while she's never thought of love as something lasting, she knows that her love for Luke won't fade, even when she wants it to—even on the nights where she swallows her pride and prays to the gods for her pain to dissolve. She doesn't even think about how Ares would scorn her for her weakness. He will never know loss; she knows this much.
So she understands now that love is not conditional—it is painful. It can last forever and tear you apart because surely there is something you could have done to save it, to save him. Will doesn't think she's loved anyone except for her mother, except for Luke. He was nothing if not good, and regardless of his shortcomings, he was her friend.
The conversation from earlier still weighs heavy on her mind and she has to fight the urge to carve into flesh, or burn cities, or do anything to destroy the last good things in the world. She wonders how anyone could see good in her.
The lingering thoughts of the conversation and memories that come as a consequence stir something within Will's subconscious. Behind her, Jason eyes her sleeping face that looks far too gentle and soft for a warrior. She'd fallen asleep not long after their conversation, eventually finding herself with her back pressed against his chest, unknowingly being lulled by the sound of his beating heart. He tries not to move too much in fear of waking her. It's a mixture of him wanting her to rest and not wanting her to decapitate him for getting too close to her, despite the fact that her body is slumped over his. It's not like it matters. She would still tear into him like a wolf through flesh.
Piper and Leo had since woken up and listened to Jason's half-baked plan that Annabeth would call an objective rather than an actual plan, critiquing it for its lack of attention to detail and preparation for all possible contingencies. If she were awake, Will would have reiterated this exactly just to see their faces fall flat with disappointment. But Will is not awake—thank the gods—and Jason is relieved that she won't scrutinize his plan that he knows is lacking. Now he takes the time to look at Will without her stoney eyes burning holes into his head. She's a lot less hostile when she's sleeping, more human in a sense, but still just as angry and wrathful. She mutters something in Greek that Jason doesn't understand but the way she says it suggests there is spite behind it. He finds it endearing.
