"... because you're the reason I'm alive..."
"No. Seriously Adam... You don't need to. I'm probably not the reason. Theres more than likely someone else, and you just think it's me."
Half of me was hoping there was someone else. The other half was hoping he would tell me to sit down so he could explain. But of course, I got it all. He told me to sit down. I did.
"You kmow, there was someone else. She didn't make it. You know how Alex told you that me and my team lived off Ritz crackers and water for 2 weeks? Well, the crackers and most of the water only lasted for a week. She starved to death. Half of who was left were delirious by the time 3 days had passed after the crackers ran out. All of us were starving. I though about everything and everyone. Unfinished business, good times, things I coud've done better, things I shoud've done, things I wish I'd done. Then I started thinking about the htings I could still do if I made it out alive... like..."
He leans closer. About to kiss me. I take my fingers and push his face to the side and away from my lips.
The first words out of his mouth after that was: " Why not?"
I go " You know good and well why not . All you give me is how you felt the way you felt. Not anything like why you felt the way you felt? Or I don't know an explanation fo rwhy you're telling me all this now? Why you've waited 3 freaking years and kept me in the dark the WHOLE time? No Adam. I'm not kissing you and I'm not letting you kiss me anytime soon. Not until I get what I want."
We had already figured it was to late to head back to the camp, so we took separate spots in the dirt and went to sleep.
I woke up, and he was laying right next to me. He had woke up before I did, so when he realized I had opened my eyes, he says "Hey. Sleep OK?"
Not yet having the energy to be snappy, I go "Yeah, you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"You really don't remember anything about last night?"
"No. Why?"
"You kicked me in your sleep almost all night."
Then I got snappy. "Well that's your fault."
"How is it my fault?"
"First off, I never gave you permission to sleep next to me, second, I've had a lot on my mind since you've shown up."
