All For What!

36

"I do."

Maryam was cut off abruptly by Sa'eed's voice. She could swear her heart stopped beating for a second. What she feared had happened. She never wanted her husband to find out this way. How was she going to explain things to him now? - she cringed. She couldn't even turn around to meet her gaze with his for she feared how he might react.

"Is it true?" He asked. He just got the confirmation he needed, but he still felt the need to ask. To know why she did it and how she had it in her to hide such news from him for the period of time.

"Yes." Maryam muttered under her breath. She still couldn't turn around to fave him. She knew she had done something wrong and needed to ask for his forgiveness as soon as possible.

He smiled, concealing his disappointment behind the smile. "For how long have you known?" He inquired, dreading the same answer he was expecting.

"A week or so..." Maryam trailed off.

"More than a week." Saeed paused for some seconds. "Interesting."

Before Maryam could turn and explain to Sa'eed, he had already left the room. Tears welled up in her eyes. Among the things she hated most was her husband being mad or disappointed in her. She couldn't bear it.

"Is he mad at you, ummi? Why?" Manal asked obliviously.

"No, he is not." She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before they could fall. "Go get some rest, I will be right back." She said and hurried out of the room in search for her husband.

The first place she headed to was Manal's room and behold he was in there, standing by the widow with his back facing the exit of the room. She heaved a deep sigh before walking towards him. She knew he was mad, but given the type of a person he was, no one would know except those closest to him. Wordlessly, she wrapped her arms around him, trapping him in a back hug. "Please forgive me, habibi." 

"Why?" He asked without turning to face her. He just wanted and needed to know why she hid the fact from him of all people. He was still finding it hard to believe.

"I'm sorry." Was the only reply Maryam could give. She knew her reason for hiding it from him was not valid enough.

"That isn't an answer." Saeed said in a hoarse voice.

Maryam turned him around slowly and fixed her gaze in his disappointed eyes. "I didn't keep it from you intentionally. I wanted to tell you much earlier, but I... I was afraid." She admitted sadly.

"Afraid of what?" Saeed asked, confused. He didn't see any reason why she would be.

Maryam averted her gaze to the floor and spoke. "I didn't want you to ask me to quit my job again."

"That's your reason for hiding our pregnancy from me?" Saeed asked with a raised brow.

Maryam cupped his face in both her hands. "I know it isn't a valid reason and that's why I'm asking you to please forgive me."

"We promised never to keep secrets from each other." He reminded.

"I broke our promise. I'm so sorry." She apologized for the umpteenth time.

Saeed was in deep thoughts. He knew she was very passionate about her job, but he promised himself not to allow her get her way this time around.

"Habibi?" Maryam called, pulling him out of his trance. "Have you forgiven me?"

"On two conditions." Saeed said, his voice laced with seriousness. He knew he needed to be stern if he wanted Maryam to do as be wanted. "You're never going to keep anything from me anymore and the second is... You're going to resign from your job."

His second condition hit Maryam hard. She had expected him to say exactly that, but she couldn't take it. She was not ready to let her passion go down the drain just like that. "Habibi—"

"I have spoken." He said cutting her off.

"I won't. I can't just resign. Please reconsider your condition." Maryam pleaded at the verge of tears.

Saeed had to void himself from his emotions this time. He reminded himself he had to be stern and stand his ground for their future. Maryam had started prioritizing her job over her family - it was something Saeed had to stop right away. Her first priority after worshiping her lord should be her family, not her job or any other thing. "You're not ready to be forgiven then."

"Please habibi, don't do this to me. This is the reason I didn't want you to know about this pregnancy. I knew you'd react like this."

"You knew I'd react like this? You knew I'd be disappointed and you still went ahead and hid the fact from me?"

"No, I knew you'd ask me to quit my job and that's why I kept the news from you."

"I'm glad you know me so well."

"Why are you so determined to make me sad, habibi? Haven't I been a good wife and a mother to our daughter? What more do you want?" Maryam asked, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Look habibty." Saeed held her hand in his and and brought it to his lips. "It's not enough. Now that Allah has blessed us with another baby, I need you to be the one to take care of her as well as Manal too." He tried to explain to her.

"I promise not to neglect them. Have I ever? Besides, Nafisa will be here to hel—"

"Please, habibty, I want you to be the one. Please do this for me." Saeed smiled, caressing her cheeks with both his hands.

"No," Maryam shook her head vigorously and yanked his hands away from her face. "I can't do this, habibi. I won't quit my job for anything in the world! You promised never to talk about this to me anymore, but now you're breaking the promise all because of this baby." She poked her stomach with a finger. "I wish I'm not pregnant. Before you found out, I should have—" she cut herself off abruptly before she could complete her sentence. She didn't mean any of what she just said. She would never do that no matter what, but due to anger, she vomited all sort of rubbish. Her anger triggered it and that is why it is said; one should never make a decision or talk in the state of anger. She wished she could take back her last few words, but she knew Saeed already heard it all and he must have understood her unspoken words.

A wave of anger instantly washed over Saeed at Maryam's words. His eyes turned red, his brows furrowed and his demeanor changed completely into an angry one. "You should have what?"

Given the tone Saeed used, Maryam was certain she had stepped on a lion's tail. She shouldn't spoken at all - she mentally face palmed.

"I..." She trailed off, not knowing what reply to give. She knew Saeed already knew what she was about to say and lying would only make things worse.

"You should have aborted the pregnancy, right?"

"No...no habibi, I didn't mean it at all. I'd never do that, you know me well, don't you? I just said that in a fit of rage..."

Her explanations only fell on deaf ears. Saeed was not ready to listen to what she had to say. He had already made up his mind to make Maryam quit her job whether by hook or by crook. "It's not a condition anymore, Maryam. You're resigning tomorrow and that isn't all, Nafisa will be sent back to where she came from as well and my decision is final."