All For What!

56

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"Whatever the reason may be, you're going back to your matrimonial home tomorrow. I won't condole this kind of behavior from you." She deadpanned. "I'm listening to your explanation."

"Sa'eed wants to get remarried."

Maryam expected a reaction from her, but she remained unmoved and emotionless. "That's the reason you left?"

"No." She replied. "I will admit; I wanted to leave when he broke the news to me, but he stopped me. He told me I didn't have his permission to leave, so I stayed back. I had to endure the pain I was going through, ummi. It wasn't easy at all. I had sleepless nights, I prayed to Allah to make him change his mind and I suffered emotional trauma. You know of my dream to become a nurse ever since I was a child right?" She asked, recalling how hard she studied to be independent as a student and even an undergraduate. She studied really hard and had little to no time to spend time with her friends. She dedicated all of her free time to reading and studying. She never allowed anyone to influence her. She could also recall when she first got the news of her appointment. She was ecstatic. She prayed to Allah and thanked him immensely for making her dream come through and on her first day as a qualified nurse, the joy she felt couldn't be measured.

Mrs. Hauwa couldn't reply to that. Maryam knew it was because she knew that all too well. "I decided to sacrifice my dreams. Everything. For the sake of his happiness. He has always wanted me to quit my job and I, in return have always tried my best to convince him. To make him realise just how much I was passionate about working. I tried. I really tried my best, ummi as Allah is my witness, but Sa'eed doesn't understand. Why doesn't he understand me? Why doesn't he understand and support me? - I have always wondered, until something terrible happened. I accidentally fell down the stairs after Sa'eed told me how Nafisa - a maid I had hired to take care of Manal in my absence - maltreated our daughter. She treated worse than a beggar in her own house. Then and there, I realised one thing; what was I being stubborn for? What was I fighting for? My passion? What is my passion without my family? I will gladly choose my family over my job, then why was I being adamant? From that day henceforth, I decided to quit and take care of our daughter instead, for I felt it's all my fault - all these wouldn't have happened if I had been there for her. I felt guilty. Sa'eed made me feel horrible about myself.

"On coming back from the hospital, I learnt he wasn't going to get married. He lied to me. He deceived me into believing that. He witnessed how disheartened I felt, yet he didn't have pity on me and kept on with the act. Tell me, ummi, was he fair? Did he do the right thing? How could he do that to me? He used my weakness against me for his own benefit. Is this how he is suppose to behave with his wife? It's simply uncalled for! Blasphemous! " she cried.

"Take a deep breathe and calm down, Maryam."

"Please tell me, ummi; did he do the right thing? Hurting me that way? He made me agree to quit my job on the basis of a lie. " she paused. "Right now, I'm not hurt because of that, but because he didn't have an iota of pity for me. He left me to be consumed by misery. I'm really disappointed in him."

"Without a doubt, his intention was genuine, but his approach was very wrong. He didn't do the right thing. He was wrong."

Maryam lifted her head and with unshed tears in her eyes, she smiled and threw her arms around her mother. "Thank you very much, ummi. Up until now, no one has been able to understand me. You're the only person who agrees with me. Everyone else is against me."

Mrs. Hauwa drew back. "He's human, therefore, he is entitle to make mistakes, but from my point of view, of seems you have very high expectations from your husband. You expect him to be perfect all the time, but unfortunately, he can never be perfect. He's bound to make mistakes and he does, but he tries to avoid it and whenever he fails in avoiding it, you get disappointed in him for you believed him to be someone who doesn't make mistakes."