linda moves onto michael who tells her that he’s been “sad” and she asks what’s been making him feel sad and he says he doesnt know which is a lie. michael is sad because he hates himself. he has since the eighth grade when people started making fun of him for how he looked and the clothes he wore. michael hates himself because he lives with his alcoholic father who makes him feel like he’s not good enough and lives off of the government because he can’t sober up long enough to get a proper job. but there’s no way in hell he’s going to tell linda all this, especially in front of a group full of teenagers who are most likely going to spread it around like wildfire. so linda just shakes her head and moves on to the next person, hoping she’ll get a better answer from him than she did from cody or michael. the boy, whose name michael remembers to be jack, starts going on about how he’s stressed out over grades and “family issues” and michael rolls his eyes and looks over at cody who was also rolling her eyes causing michael to chuckle quietly.
when michael walked into the room thirty minutes earlier, the first thing he noticed was cody. he noticed her messy, long, brown hair and how strands of it fell into her eyes. he noticed her small nose that was slightly up-turned. he noticed her dark, green eyes that had snapped up from her nails to look at him when he loudly stumbled into the room. he noticed her full, light pink lips that were turned down into a slight frown. when she stood up for her introduction he watched how she looked at the ground and played with her fingers and tugged the sleeves of her sweater over her hands while she quietly spoke. he was blown away by how breath-takingly beautiful she was.
michael has only ever found one other person this beautiful and that was his ex-girlfriend, jordy. they were together for three years until she abruptly ended it one night. she said that she just didn’t feel like they were going anywhere and she didn’t love him like she used to. michael was devastated, to say the least. but he eventually realized that she was right, they weren’t in love like they used to be and their relationship was basically at a standstill. after that, michael hadn’t even thought about being with anyone else which was true until now.
but as michael continued to admire cody, he noticed that her cheeks are too hollow and her body was too skinny. he noticed how she picked at her hands and he noticed the small scabs and bruises that are scattered across the tops of them. he noticed the large bags under her eyes and her messy, unbrushed hair. he noticed how unhealthy she looked. but even with the bags under her eyes and her messy hair, he still thought she was one of the most beautiful human beings he's ever laid his eyes upon.
cody shifted uncomfortably under michael's gaze and he looked away. he looked at linda and decided to pay attention for the last five minutes of group just to see what she had to say.
"you have to tell yourself that you're a happy, perfect person. if you say it enough, even if you don't believe it now, you eventually will be that happy person. trust me, i was once in the same place you guys are in and that simple thing helped me love myself and become the happy person i am today," linda said in an enthusiastic voice. michael furrowed his eyebrows. telling yourself that you're perfect isn't going to make you believe it. that'd be like telling yourself that you're a dog and then believing it.
"so if i tell myself that i'm an egg roll everyday, i'll turn into an egg roll?" cody asks, her voice monotone. people giggle and linda shoots them all a glare.
"well, no, but it's not the same thing," cody scoffs and rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything. "okay, well, i guess our time is up. i'll hopefully see you all next week. don't forget to tell yourself you're perfect and happy!"
cody and michael were the last ones out of the small room. michael slowly trailed behind cody as she made her way out of the small church. cody wrapped her arms around her body as they stepped into the cold, outside air, trying to keep herself warm as she stood on the curb waiting for her dad to pick her up. michael wanted to talk to her but his anxiety was getting the best of him. he paced back and forth, wringing his hands together and muttering about how this could be his only chance. he stopped pacing and took a deep breath. he took a few steps and tapped cody on the shoulder. she turned around, a curious look on her face.
"hi."
// lmao im probs gonna edit this later bc im on mobile and there's probs typos and stuff so ya
also i'M SORRY MY TWO (probably awful) CHAPTERS ARE SHORT I JUST DONT HAVE TIMES WHERE IM ACTUALLY CREATIVE THAT OFTEN SO YA SOZ //
