Centipede

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Agh, I pulled up to my ex wife's house. I wasn't in a hurry because the call I got didn't seem pretty severe. It wasn't an infestation, and I was glad of that. She didn't have a boyfriend and her parents live across the country. She could have called the exterminator but he wouldn't have listened. She was always afraid of bugs anyway. She gave me a call that morning and started shouting in my ear about a house centipede and said that there was a big one in her house. It was unlike anything she had seen before. She also said there was a mother in a nest in her guest room, which wasn't a problem. Women exaggerate a lot about things, so I took this gigantic house centipede with a grain of salt.

I walked up to the door and knocked and she answered quickly. She looked scared to death because her face was deathly pale and her eyes were sunken in.

"Where is it?" I asked nicely.

"Upstairs, come, quickly, before it goes away." She said and walked me upstairs. She pointed into a room and I walked in. I saw the son of a bitch in the corner and it was huge. Maybe the size of my hand. I got my foot ready and a squashed that mother to a pulp. I got guts all over my shoes and even on my face and shirt, but it was dead.

I turned around and saw my ex wife standing there oddly.

"Well, it's dead now." I said and showed her. "I'll clean up the mess."

"That was the mother." She said shakily and my blood went cold.

"Where's the father then?" I asked.

I saw her smile slightly, and then, her stomach started to move slowly.

Very slowly.

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