Harrison Osterfield One Shots and Imagines

At What Cost?

warning: mentions of abortion, miscarriage. do not read if these are trigger for you.

It was dangerous, you shouldn't be driving like this, the words kept playing inside your head again and again. Half blinded by tears, you tried to drive as safely as you could. You kept wiping your eyes. Suddenly a car coming from the other side blinds you with its head light. You don't see stop sign in front of you, driving on, until another car crashes right on the driver's side. The car flips around a few times; all the while you hit your head and slowly lose consciousness, remembering why you were driving away in the first place.

"How can you even say that?"

You yell out at the guy standing in front of you, the guy you've dated for three years now. The guy who you loved and thought the world of. But right at this moment all you could think of was how carelessly he suggested abortion without even considering any other options.

"What else do you want me to say?" Harrison tries to explain. "This is not the right time for us to have a baby, you have your career, I am leaving in a couple weeks for the shooting, and you know I can't give this up. You know I won't give this up" he has waited so long for this one chance to prove himself as an actor. Now he finally had the chance of a lifetime and he couldn't let go of this.

You knew he was right. But right now every word he speaks hurts you, like a whip being cracked all over your body. You unconsciously wrap your arms around your stomach, fearing that his mere suggestion will hurt the baby.

The fear of pregnancy started creeping around your mind since the third day you waking up and running to the bathroom, throwing up the contents of your stomach. You kept feeling nauseated, dizzy. To cross out that possibility, you took the test. Having already talked about kids and a possibility of a family with Harrison, you knew what the consequences of a positive test would be. He didn't want kids, not right now. You knew it, but all along the time you were waiting, you couldn't deny the feeling of knowing something is going to go wrong.

The positive test rocked you to your core. To be extra sure, you went to the doctors and took the blood test, hoping against hope that the positive test was faulty. It wasn't.

You didn't know how you were going to tell him, you didn't know how he will react. But you sure as hell, did not expect this.

"Yes I know what you mean, but how could you just suggest abortion without any consideration to other options?" you shoot back, tears welling up in your eyes.

"What other options are there huh? We either have the baby and ruin all our prospect in life, or we get the abortion and go on with our lives." Harrison tries to control his voice, his anger, but he fails, speaking a little too loudly. "Baby, try to understand. It's not that I don't want kids with you," he tries to sooth you now, desperate to make you see his reason "we can have kids later in life, as many as you want, when we have both done things that we have dreamed of doing all this time." He pauses, not knowing what more to say.

"I don't know about the future! All I know is that right now I am standing here, in front of you, pregnant, with your child. And you just want to get rid of it." You seethe out. Some part of your mind wanting to agree with him, but you couldn't do this. Not to your baby, not the baby that was part of you, that was part of him. Every time you even considered his suggestion you just saw a baby boy just like him, dead, in your arms.

Harrison was almost in tears. Anger and tears were all you both felt. Knowing where this entire thing is finally going. He knew that he can't have the responsibility of being a father right now. You knew that you couldn't just get an abortion. The only way to solve this was to go your separate ways. But both of you, being in the state you were in, didn't want to consider it. He didn't want to lose you, and you didn't want to do this without him. Just the thought of going through the pregnancy without him caused you enough pain to double over and cry.