Never Alone

Chapter 7

Luke's P.O.V.  

It's been three days since Charlotte has been admitted into the hospital. Without her around I can feel myself falling into a deep hole again, I've been trying to resist going back in for my brother but it's been so hard. For the past three days Michael has been getting up and going to school, we both go to the hospital after school and then come home. It's like we forgot how to live, we're just going through life without purpose. I know that my brother is thinking about the past and that's why he is like this, but I don't know if I am ready to open that wound open again.

Michael and I arrive at the hospital the same time we always do. We let our feet lead the way since our minds are occupied with thoughts. My little brother sees Ania and sits next to her; her head naturally taking a spot on his shoulder and his head laying on top of hers. I stop in front of Charlotte's door and my gaze goes from the door to Ania. She shakes her head no ever so slightly, giving me the answer to my silent question.

I make my way inside and go to my spot. I sit beside her and take her hand. The doctors told us yesterday that she should have woken up by now, that her body is doing this to her because it's afraid to wake up again. It's protecting her. The doctors also said that it would be good to talk to her because she can probably hear us and it would help her wake up. I haven't had the courage to say anything except bye, what am I supposed to say? Do they expect me to feed her a bunch of lies saying that it's going to be okay when I know that it's not.

I squeeze her hand so that she knows I'm there and I take in her appearance. Her skin is pale and cold, her beautiful brown hair is matted, her body looks so frail. I closed my eyes trying to remember what she was like before this but it's hard, even though it was only a few days ago it was like I was already forgetting. I took a deep breathe and before I knew it words were coming out of my mouth.

"Hey there Charlotte. I know I haven't spoken to you in a while but I have been coming everyday with Michael, but I think you already knew that." I looked at her silently hoping that something would change, even though I know a few words wouldn't do anything. So the words continued to flow.

"Ania hasn't been going to school, I offered to pick her up everyday but she doesn't want to go. I don't know how to get her to go. As for your mother, I think she comes once a day, I'm not too sure though, I think she only does that so the doctors will think that she is a caring mother. I know the doctors said that I should talk to you and only tell you good things, but then I would be lying to you. You gotta wake up Charlotte, Ania needs you...Michael and I need you." I know I should have stopped talking but I couldn't, it's like I had no control.

"The truth is the world sucks, life sucks in general. Sometimes it will feel like there are more bad times than good times which is why we think it sucks. Here's the thing Charlotte, Here's the secret that nobody tells you. Even though the good times seem like they're rare, they are worth more than any bad thing that's happened. The tricky part though is thinking how much greater the good parts are when the shit part of life is happening. I know this probably doesn't make any sense but I promise once you live through it you will understand." Tears were escaping my eyes as my wounds started to open up again. It hurt so bad but I couldn't stop, it was like everything that I pushed down for years was finally coming back up again. I don't know if I am able to handle it but I'm going to have to figure out a way.

"Life can be the most beautiful thing in the world but it can also be the shittiest. I would know, things happened in my life, hopefully one day I'll be able to tell you but for now it is going to remain a mystery. For the past three days Michael has been walking around like a robot, and if he talks to me it's to ask why does good things happen to bad people. I don't know how to answer that Charlotte, because the sad thing is, that's reality. "

I left the room once to check on Michael and Ania, they ended up falling asleep on each other as usual. I gently shook my brother awake and gave him a little money for him and Ania to buy food. He asked me if I wanted anything and I told him that I would eat when I got him. The truth is I wasn't hungry, I haven't been in a while. If you put together all the food I eat in a day I don't even know if it would add up to a day's worth. Actually, I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

I walked back into Charlottes room listening to the beeps coming from the heart monitor. As long as I kept hearing the stead beeps I knew that everything will be okay. Charlotte's a fighter, I know that she will get out of this. I haven't known her for a long time but I see so much of me and Michael in her and Ania that I can't help but feel connected to her. My eyes wander around the room until the land on her scars. I pick up her hand again and I look at her wrist and mine, they are so similar yet so different. We both have scars that match but I know the stories behind them are very different.

Once I decided that it was time to go home, I get up and put my lips close to her left ear. This time I decided not to say goodbye, instead I whisper, "you're not alone."

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