Poop, well guys this is this is a new chapter so I hope your happy that I update frequently i'm trying to update as much as I can until school starts and I won't have time to update more frequently so yeah :) I hope you enjoy this weird emotional chapter that I wrote in the middle of the night. :)
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| Finn |
I walk into the hostpital with Caspar clutching my right hand for dear life, I swear this guy is a mommy's boy, but I would have done the same thing, actually I did do that and I do recall Caspar being there to make sure I was okay.
Now i'm here trying to so the same for Caspar, when we got to the receptionist I asked for Jessica Bryne which is Caspars mom's name.
"Oh i'm sorry, But are you guys family?" she askes looking at both of us. I look over at Caspar and give him the ' play along look' and he blinks twice (which means yes or in this case okay)
"Yeah she's my aunt and he's her son" I say crossing my arms Caspar nods at her.
She looks at our hands that are gripped tight around Caspars grasp and sighs "She's in the 2nd floor room D-260" She tells us before returning to something that she was working on in her computer.
We walk to the elevator and once it gets to our floor we walk in and push the number 2 and wait.
I look over at Caspar who is playing with his thumbs, his bottom lip in between both his teeth, I look down at my shoes until I hear a ding! signaling us to get off.
We sped walk towards room D-260 and when we arrive Caspar imediatley lets go of my hand and replaces it with his moms.
I sit across from him towards the left side of the hospital bed and look at Jessica, her face had paled her upper lip was slighly cracked.
I know that she's Caspars mom but she was like a second mom to me, and I swear if I lose her too I think I might go mental. I grab her hand and give it a peck. But somehow this all seems too familiar to me.
| Flash Back |
"Darling please don't cry, mama's gonna be alright" She spoke so softly I was seated next to her on the right side of the hospital bed. Already I could see the paleness my mom had gained over to past hour. It was like she was already drifting away.
Tears were violently streaming down my face, and I hated it, my mom was dying and I couldn't show her that I could be brave. That I could handle the blows my heart is reciving.
But I knew that I couldn't, neither could dad, Lydia or Caspar who were waiting outside for my mom to finish saying goodbye.
"I can't ma, I just I can't imagine a world without you." I say before sobbing again, I feel my moms soft hands pick my chin up, forcing me to look at her.
My mom is beautiful, she had pale blue eyes, a button nose, beautiful light brown hair that is now starting to fade into a more pale shade, she was still beautiful though inside and out.
"Then don't imagine a world without me, because i'll alway's be there, stalking you from above" She says pointing upwards at the celling.
A small smile spreads through my mouth, I'm gonna miss this women with her awful but still funny jokes and her smile and the way she tuckes me in bed even though i'm older now. I love her
I love her and i'm so lucky to have her, even just for a while.
"There's that smile" She croaks smilling herself through her dry lips.
"Now there's something I want you to remember okay?" She says looking at me with a smile still stuck to her mouth. I nod wanting to know.
"When i'm gone there may be times where you have people that try to bring you down, like erosion for example, the waves will force the land tumbling down piece by piece and at times the waves have eroded all the land, then the land is... well empty but it really isn't." she swallows before continuing.
"But darling when the ocean pulls you in and you feel like your crumbling to pieces just remember, you can get through it, the pieces are still there, you just have to find them. you have to find yourself."
I nod " Okay mom i'll find myself, I love you mom I love you so much it hurts" I croak trying to hold in my sobs.
"I love you too" She whispers before she stopped breathing and the heart monitor when crazy. I coudln't hold it in I just sobbed on my mom's shoulder it was unbearable, the feeling in my heart it was... crazy .
My dad walks in with Lydia and Caspar all holding yogurts dad notices me and drops his yogurt to the floor tears evident in his eyes as he walked over to my mom and kissed her forehead one last time.
Caspar comes up to me and holds me. Allowing my tears to soak onto his shirt.
| Flashback Over |
Tears were falling off my eyes. I hadn't noticed I was shaking until I look at my left hand, since my right hand was still holding Jessica's.
I look at her and I see my mom like this repeating itself.
"Please don't leave, Please not again please" I whisper my hands shaking even more than before.
Caspar notices because he gets up and walks towards me and wraps me in a hug. But I don't cry, I don't know why but I don't.
My mom died, but she died happily, I just shake in his arms but then suddenly I stop shaking, all at once and see the room grow dark spots all over the place, I feel a bit dizzy but before I fall Caspar's arm slids down onto my waist keeping me from falling down.
"Finn are you alright?" he says his voice wiggling a bit from his soft sobs.
"Y-yeah i'm fine it's okay" I say trying to make him let go of my waist but his grip is too strong I look up at him to find that he's been staring at me pale blue eyes to pale blue eyes he looks down at my lips then back at my eyes.
Is there something on my lips? I keep staring at him wondering why he was giving me such an intense stare, It really made me uncomfortable, I look over his shoulder to find Jessica still in her deep sleep (as I like to call it.) I just wish she would just wake up already.
I turn back to Caspar his eyes still focused on me though he's not giving me the same intense stare, he looks like he's thinking hard about something, almost like he's confused.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
He snaps out of his thoughts turning away, his cheeks slightly flushed as he shakes his head lightly still not facing me.
"I-i um I wasn't-" I cut him off trying to change the subject because I could tell the topic made him a bit uncomfortable.
"So when am I going to meet your lady?" I say wiggling my eyebrows at him trying to light up the mood, He chuckles
"Tommorow I guess" He says shrugging a bit, though I'm slightly jealous, though not because I like Caspar it's because the girl gained Caspars trust faster than I had. It took me 3 years and It took this girl 1 week. I just..I don't know, I just don't want Caspar to get hurt. I care about him too much.
"Alright, but if she does anything I don't like-" He cuts me off
"I won't date anyone my number one girl doesn't approve of okay?" He says softly I nod.
I just hope she doesn't replace me...
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Sorry if this seemed a bit short. but I had to do this late at night and yeah.. But thank you guys sooo much for reading, I love you all x
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