6 days to die || Tododeku

Chapter 15: Old Battles

A/N: UHHHHNAMANAMANAMARRRRRHHHHRHUGHHHHHLLNNNNNFfff. I'm tired. Trigger warning there will be sad and bad stuff in this chapter so mentally prepare. Hey I've got a question: have you or anyone you know ever dyed a sock, I eagerly await you responses.

Midoriya's POV    Friday     4:21

TRIGGERING STUFF AHEAD

When I removed my bandages I was greeted with the sight of healing wounds, some still had the slightly puffy, red and bloody look while others had partially healed in the corners giving me a slight idea of what the scar would look like. The healed parts were a pinkish purple colour, like what you would find on a bad bruise and had a leathery and calloused feel, I in no way liked how they looked.

When I dug around the box I choose my personal favourite, the safety pin that would bring me pain. My mind was foggy as I began harshly scratching at the skin of my arm, not in lines of marks but in a giant patch of bleeding skin covering almost my entire forearm, when I had first used the safety pin I had never scratched so hard that the instant it touched it my skin shredded into the bloody mixture coating my arms. The mixture wasn't just blood, it didn't have the smoothness of blood but instead the mixture was made form blood and shredded skin that left my arm with each scrape.

As I glared at my arm I couldn't help but feel stupid, I'm so pathetic.

I still felt incomplete, I wanted blood to trickle down my arm without so much effort, to just feel that sensation. I was no longer satisfied with the safety pin because now I wanted more. Pain, blood, wounds, relief and happiness I craved it but I know I won't get one of these things.

I frantically searched the confines of my room not daring to venture outside my door but everywhere I looked I saw nothing harmful or dangerous and that made an emotion fill me. Rage or sadness call it what you wish but as that emotion began to rise of slowly overflow then I lost it.

I had no idea why but the next moment I had rammed my face into the side of my bed frame and I didn't even consider the option of stopping when I began to hit the exact same spot over and over which happened to be a large bruise I had gotten during the fire and had been covered up by a white bandaid and with each new hit it stung more and more and at some point it began to bleed. More pain, more blood, more wounds,more relief but still no happiness.

Once I stopped I laid on my back on the wooden floor staring at the white ceiling, panting from holding back screams and running myself into object to the point where the impact causes it to bleed. I didn't feel relief now. As I carelessly lolled my head around my eyes landed on something so easy to overlook and so very common but it gave me an idea.

So I reached forward and grabbed it holding it, it had cute patterns in a variety of colours and looked so innocent and normal, not at all out of place. I lifted it over my head, ignore the voice in my brain loudly screaming

'IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE!'.

And with that though I smashed it into the ground sending a loud THUD through the room and there it was, broken and perfect, it almost looked to perfect like someone was going to pop up and yell "NOPE!" but there it was,IT was perfect.

And this 'it' was a sharpener and when I smashed it those small razors that trimmed the pencils were now free to be used by me. And used them I did, the proof for such was my entire body which in less than an hour had been covered in lines, innocent lines that just happened to leave long stinging pains and large amounts of blood sliding down my body.

'  I'm still not happy '.