Lost Without You

Chapter One

A/N - another half term brings something new 😂 I've been writing this for a while so I can (hopefully) post regularly! It's kind of similar to something I've written before, but I hope it's different enough that it's not too boring! Laura :)

There was a cocky, arrogant air about him. Everyone had noticed it especially Connie. It wasn't something she was best pleased about welcoming into the department but she couldn't deny his talent in treating patients. There was something about the way he worked that had her attention caught fully.

"Mrs Beauchamp?" Connie's head snapped around to the young nurse who stood beside her trying to hold out a file towards her with some test results. "Thank you." They were quick to disappear as she looked down at the results in her hands although she couldn't keep her eyes on it for long. She found herself looking up over the department once again, following him across it as he treated his patient. He'd been here three months and he was already turning this place upside down making her life a living hell.

"See something you like?" "Excuse me?" She turned to look at the older nurse as he pushed his hands into his pockets with a gentle rise of his shoulders. "I just haven't seen you seem that interested in one of the nurses since you started here." "I want to make sure he's not over stepping the mark. Well you and I both know he's sure of himself." Charlie nodded looking across to where Jacob was closing the curtain on his patient with a smile. "And for good reason otherwise you would never have hired him." She hummed in some sort of agreement before shifting her attention finally.

"Was there something you wanted?" "Me? No, was just seeing what was so fascinating for you. It's not often you're stood still for longer than five minutes." She rolled her eyes turning her back as she began to walk along the corridor. Charlie was left chuckling to himself as he returned to the department leaving Connie to get on with it.

The ED seemed to be overrun with nuisance patients today, and it just so happened Connie received the best of them... "Mr Adams, as you can very clearly see we are busy and if you have no interest in letting us treat you, then I have no interest in arguing with you to try and ensure you that you are actually fit enough to survive the night. So you either let us run these tests and tell us exactly what bought you in, or you can very ably walk out those doors and let us get on with treating patients who actually want our help." Alicia stood beside Robyn looking between the clinical lead and the patient biting their lip. They were no stranger to the brashness of their boss, but it always took them by surprise when she took control of situations like this.

"Right, Nurse Miller arrange Mr Adams discharge papers-" "No." He huffed rolling his eyes before speaking in a less than amused manor. "It's these headaches..." Connie arched a brow releasing a silent breath. "Right, can we organise a CT scan, run LFT's and check his glucose levels. I want to rule the basics out before we narrow this down." "Yes Mrs Beauchamp." Robyn disappeared to get what she would need while Alicia began to carry out an initial assessment now that the patient seemed to be compliant. "Any issues Dr Munroe you come and find me." She nodded with a small smile as the sound of her heels echoed through the room before she was gone.

"Afternoon Queen Bee-" "It's Mrs Beauchamp Staff Nurse Masters. If you can't be professional then I'm sure I can write you a reference for a new place of work." Jacob didn't hesitate at the bluntness of her response as he continued to walk beside her through the department, holding the door open for her as they stepped through. "Ahh don't pretend you wouldn't miss me-" "Don't flatter yourself Staff Nurse Masters. I have plenty more things on my mind than your absence."

As she came towards her office she found herself praying he'd disappear and do something useful with his time instead of taking up hers when she had so much she could be doing. "What are you doing? I didn't say you could come in." She turned around at her desk to watch him as he sat himself in the chair to one side of her room. "Don't- Don't sit down." "Afraid of a little conversation, don't do socialising?" Connie released a heavy breath as she moved around to the other side of her desk. Jacob's eyes followed her, dropping before quickly picking up to watch her face knowing she could feel his gaze upon her.

"Do you not have bed pans to empty, wounds to suture?" "Why are you so afraid of talking to your staff-" "I'm not." Jacob sat forwards slightly leaning on his knees. "You afraid they might see the real you?" "When you won the award for most annoying man, did you get a trophy?" "Just a medal..." His eyes continued to follow her as she crossed the office, avoiding him at all costs. Ever since he'd started working in the department, he felt a strange draw towards the clinical lead. Something about her, other than the way she looked, that seemed to have him hanging on to every last word she said.

"Staff Nurse Masters?" "Sweet cheeks-" "Ugh- It's Mrs Beauchamp-" "You like the sound of your own name don't you?" She finally gave in, her arms folded against her chest and tongue pushed into her cheek as she sighed heavily. "Seriously Jacob, I have mountains of reports to get through, a ridiculous number of emails and patients breaching. What is so important about distracting me that you need to be in here right now?" He watched as she looked to him, noticing something other than annoyance in her features for the first time that day.

"You know, all you had to say was that you were busy and I'd have left you to it." She shook her head a small smirk coming to her face as she couldn't believe the audacity of the man sat before her. "You're unbelievable..." Jacob smiled as she stood up beginning to walk towards the door but stopped to turn back. Connie had noticed and was already looking up as he glanced to her. "You should smile more often, suits you." Her gaze lingered on his for a moment longer before he gently pulled the door shut as he finally left her to the confines of her office.

Connie exhaled deeply as she closed her eyes for a moment trying to work out what had just happened. She was used to Jacob pushing the boundaries and being playful, but for some reason that had felt different, more intimate than normal. Shaking it from her thoughts, she returned to the stack of paperwork on her desk and immersed herself into her work once more. Thoughts of Jacob long at the back of her mind as she focused in on the endless tasks that seemed to be building.

It was hours later as the end of his shift rolled around. It was dark outside and he'd lost track of the hours he'd spent here today. He'd pulled his coat on and was wandering along the corridor when he noticed the light coming from the clinical leads office still. She must have been here for over twelve hours now yet she seemed to show no signs of stopping. He was amazed by her, she never seemed to falter or show any fatigue. It was incredible to think someone could be as dedicated as she was and have it all - the job, the money, the looks, the life she must have. It was all something Jacob could only ever dream of, but here she was carrying herself like it was nothing. But he didn't really know what was happening behind the walls, the loneliness and heartbreak that had caused her to be the way she was.

He looked through the window a moment longer before deciding it was best to not disrupt her for a second time today. Leaving the department the cold winter air hit him as he set off on his way home. For Connie, the night was only just beginning. The long double shifts something she had gotten used to all those years ago. It was nothing new to her, she'd just kind of grown to accept this was her life. She had failed as a mother, it wasn't something she was ever good at. When Grace left to live with her father it had sent her into a spiral of focusing on work. It was the one thing she could always control and know where she stood with it, unlike the attempt at parenting she'd had.

Connie sat at her desk leaning back in her chair as she raised a hand to her neck. The aching pain gradually getting worse before there was a knock at the door calling for her attention. She was snapped back into action, all the thoughts and pains pushed aside as she stood up and resumed her place in the department. There was no room for mistakes here. Here she had to be in control all of the time, and that's exactly what she would be with the walls erected and everyone shut out. Nobody would ever know the internal battles she had fought to be here, and that's the way she liked it.