What Happened To Us?

Who's Back?

I open my eyes to see a big picture of
One Direction staring back at me.
Yes I am a fan just because Harry and I
aren't friends doesn't mean I won't
support them. I sigh as my small feet
hit the hard wood with a thud 'fatass' I think to myself, probably gained two pounds over night. I lazily walk over the bathroom carefully sliding the door shut and locking it. I get down to my knees and open the cabinet searching for my scale that I've hidden from mum. You see mum has been worried about me, recently I have been diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, trust me that is the worst lie I have ever heard

and I have had my share of bad lies. The doctors say I am too skinny. I am far from too skinny if anything I should be considered over weight. I can't even go to a beach without fear of accidentally being in a family picture. I can already imagine the children saying "Mum! look its a whale! its a pink whale!". Getting back to reality I carefully place the scale on the floor hoping not to create a loud thud and wake up mum. Slowly I close my eyes and step on the scale I open them after counting to 19, which is my favorite number. I look at the scale. Tears already spilling over my cheeks, hitting the scale one at a time 'drip drip drip' after I can't stand to look at the number it reads a pound more than yesterday 93.00 Lbs. I would have cut myself some slack if it was 92.00 but 93.00? Quickly I think back to what I ate yesterday mentally checking everything off 'Breakfast tea, two sugars Lunch two pieces of turkey dinner 1/2 cup of cooked pasta plain'. dammit why did I have to eat that mum would have been fine with 1/4 of a cup maybe even 1/8 of a cup. Not being able to control my frustration I turn to the cabinets below the sink slowly opening them, trying to not make a sound, mums probably got sound detectors all over my room and knows what sound makes what. I quickly untape my best friend from the top of the cabinet. I decide to take off all my clothes leaving my bra and knickers on. I examine my body disgusted yet amazed. I need to be skinnier. But I need more lines. My body is beautifully decorated with an array of white to red to pink to even purple lines some slightly raised and others raised and rigid. I decide that since I am one pound more than yesterday that I will be cutting twice as much I mean I have to know that there are consequences for when I gain weight I mean if there weren't then why would I not gain weight. It makes sense to me. I bring the razor to my wrist gently applying pressure and dragging the blade across my wrist. I don't know how many times I've done it all over my body before I decide it is enough maybe 10 to 15 all I know is that if I don't loose at least two pounds by bedtime then I will most likely be cutting my self again tonight. I

decide to go for a run. I change into some running pants and a long sleeve under armor jacket. Running downstairs I leave a note for mum stating that I am meeting friends for brunch and won't be home for a while. I decide to go around the town running. I start at the park running through the play ground, deciding to go to the market and just look at the food not touch. I will gain weight if I touch the food. After getting caught up daydreaming about the bread I am smelling from the bakery I realize I am in front of the theatre where Harry won battle of the bands just a few years earlier. I see a crowd curiosity taking over me I wonder over to it. I see girls and not just a few a good hundred or so lined up with posters. I can't read them well being such a distance away I decide to get a closer look. Just when I get over there I read a girls sign 'Harry Give Me Some of your Gravy!!!!' "What the hell is going on over there?" I wonder aloud. "One Direction are doing a concert over there" stunned I turn and look at who I am talking too. It was a girl long dark brown hair slightly curly. She was beautifully skinny. Gorgeous brown eyes. She was wearing a blue tee shirt and skirt with heels. her glasses slightly falling off her nose. "Do I know you?" she says in a high pitch obviously trying to hard voice. "I don't know what's your name?" I ask her giving her one of my famous fake smiles. She stares at me as if to know I am fully of secrets. Her eyes have a look of contemplating weather to tell me her name or not. "Veronica and you?" "Isbaella Arington" her eyes kind of widen when she hears my full name. "Ah I know exactly who you are" cautiously I take a step back. "I won't hurt you" she says. Funny thing is she sounded like a he that time. "What is your actual name?" I ask cautiously. "My name is Zayn Malik, I am a good friend of Harrys" Holy shit. "How do you know about me?" I said "Harry talks about you all the time" "Really?" I say looking slightly more happy. "Yeah he really wants us to meet you". "I sorry I should really get going but it was really nice to meet you Zayn maybe I will see you around?" "Yeah definitely" I smile and start walking away. "Zayn who are you talking too?" As soon as I hear his voice I turn around and take in what he looks like, He looks amazing. I mean he always does but he looks really good. "Oh I was just talking to" "Bell" I say interrupting him "Bell Remington" Zayn looks at me confused but I ignore him and look at Harry who is looking at me quizzically "You look a lot like a dear friend of mine named Isabella" "Oh really? that's a first for me ha, well bye zayn it was nice meeting you" "Yeah you to Bell...." With that I take off down the street and back home. Mum asks if I had eaten a snack after lunch not realizing it was so late I decide to take a shower. "Oh sweetie" Mum calls "Yes?" I yell back. "I have a friend and her children coming to dinner so dress nicely!" "Who is it mum?" "Oh don't worry about that". I shrug thinking it was a client. I rush upstairs and put on the shower before taking out my scale and stepping on it. I take in a sharp breath and release as I see the numbers 89.00 come up. I feel so numb. I wish I could be happy but My emotions are gone. I decide that I might as well cut In the shower because at least the blood will come off with the water. I quickly turn off the shower and pat down myself and apply some makeup then run to my dresser and pull on my skinniest jeans hoping the people don't think I am fat. I put on a skin tight black sweater so that I don't get cold. I start walking down the stairs as the door bell goes off "I'll get it" mum yells. "Hey Anne its nice to see you, harry, Gemma, guys come on in!" I stop once I get to the bottom of the stairs I see them all as in Mrs. Cox, Gemma, Harry, and all of One Direction. I run up the stairs and hide under my bed. I can't do this.