Bait // Thiam

Chapter 80

Brett and I spoke for a little while longer and as nice as it was, it also made me realise how lonely I've been these passed couple of days. I haven't spoken to anyone, I've been bottling it all up and whenever someone tried to talk to me, I just shut them out. I've been pushing everyone away and that's why I've been feeling the way I'm feeling. I don't need to be alone and cry. I need to be with people. With my friends, my family, my  pack.

I looked up at Brett and for a moment, I could of sworn I saw a bit of Theo in him. His little half smile, the way he looks down at me, his soft eyes. I looked away and bit my bottom lip, trying to ignore what I just saw. The last thing I want to think about right now is, Theo. I don't want to cry. Not anymore. I want to be strong, help the others through all this. But it's pretty hard to do that, when the love of your life is gone.

I took a shaky breath in, trying to pull myself together. I don't want to be weak anymore. I need to stop crying, I need to get back out there and move on with my life. I have to remind people who Allison was, what she sacrificed and who she saved. She saved Scott, she probably saved us all. She did save us all. And Theo, I need to make sure everyone knows who he was. I need to make sure they live on.

As all of this ran through my mind, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I know that I can't be that person. The strong person, helping everyone else through it and dealing with himself later on. I can't be that person. I can't be who I want to be. I'm just a fragile, weak, pathetic person. I can't be there for everyone else, when I can't even be there for myself. I can't even talk about what happened without crying, so imagine what I'll be like hearing other people talk about them.

I looked up at Brett again and shook my head, watching as my vision started to get blurred by my tears. He wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in a hug. It felt wrong. It felt unnatural and like I was betraying Theo, but I need someone to hold me right now. Someone to be there for me and to remind me of what I'm here for.

I broke down again, gripping onto Brett's shirt as my legs started to lose strength. "It's my fault. It's all my fault, I should've been there. I should have stopped her when I saw on the ledge. I could of stopped this!" I yelled, my voice breaking every couple of words.

"No it wasn't. You couldn't have known what was going to happen," he whispered, rubbing my back in a circular motion. "I can tell you for a fact, that's not what they would want you to think. They wouldn't want you to be here, blaming yourself."

I lifted my head up from his shoulder, my eyes quickly adjusting to the light. I took a shaky breath out and walked over to the couch, sitting down and placing my head in my hands. Even though it's easier said than done, I want to stop blaming myself. I want to believe what he's saying, but I just can't. I can't bring myself to believe that it wasn't my fault, when I know it was.

I could've stepped up, said something, even told her to leave. But instead I just let her do her thing. And that got her dead. I got her dead.

Brett walked back into the living room with a glass of water, placing it in front of me. I thanked him and took a sip of it, wiping my tears as I did it. I held the cup in my hand, watching the water as it slowly moved around. Brett sat down next to me, placing his arm around my shoulder.

"Have you tried talking about it? And I don't mean how you're feeling, I mean like what you saw. What you heard, what happened to them?" He asked me, soften his voice as he spoke to me.

I looked at my hands and nodded my head, looking up at him. "She came in through the window that Theo and I did. She didn't come with us though, Scott told her to stay back." I started to remember the whole night again, getting flashbacks as I told Brett about it. "Scott got Monroe to the ground and he was talking to her, but then she pulled the gun on him. Allison shot it and then she ended up getting shot. Theo caught her just before she fell and I could already smell the blood. There was so much of it. She was scared, she was so scared. Scott picked her up and I called the ambulance, he ran her outside and told us he was going to go and meet the ambulance somewhere.

She just looked at him and she knew what was going to happen. She knew she was going to die and she made sure Scott knew as well. As for Theo, he sat there. In a pool of her blood and it was all over him. I went over there to talk to him, to help him but he didn't want it. He ran after Scott and Allison and then there was another gun shot." I started yelling towards the end, the flashbacks getting too real. "I screamed and yelled and I tried to get up, but I couldn't! I couldn't move, I couldn't go to him. I heard the gun shot and everything stopped."

I blinked to let the last of the tears out, taking a deep breath in to catch up on my breath. I looked at Brett and for the first time tonight, I knew that he couldn't relate to me anymore. He didn't know what to do or what to say and I'm fine with that. I got it off my chest and now I feel somewhat better. Like a weight has been lifted off of me. Everything I've been bottling up is finally out in the opened.

"You lost loved ones Liam. You need to understand that. Everything isn't going to go back to normal straight away. It's going to be hard, different for awhile." He told me, wiping a tear that rolling down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Brett." I whispered, looking at him with a sympathetic smile. "I didn't want this to happen to you. I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"It's okay," he whispered, standing up and staring at the front door as it opened.

I quickly stood up, my eyes turning yellow as someone started to walk towards me. I growled lowly, watching as they entered the living room. As soon as I saw who it was, my heart stopped. I looked over at him and furrowed my eyebrows.

"Theo?" I whispered, confused as to what he was doing here.

He walked closer to me, puffing as he tried to catch his breath. He was wet from the rain and was all muddy. I walked over to him and placed my hand on his cheek, wiping some of the dirt off it.

"You're back?" I asked him, only to receive a nod.

I smiled and pulled him in for a hug, I looked over his shoulder and saw Brett standing there, smiling at me. I looked at him and smiled, mouthing a thank you and I closed my eyes for a spilt second. Only to open them again and see no Brett there. He was gone.

For good now.

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Ok. Just so no one is confused, when Liam was going around saying that Theo was gone and all that, it was because he ran away because he couldn't deal with what was going on. And Liam just wanted to imagine him dead, because he didn't think he was going to come back. And with the Brett situation, the second gun shot that Liam heard was actually the gun shot that killed Brett. So basically Brett's dead, but Liam didn't want to believe that so Brett helped him move on and now he's gone. Sorry :( x