You?

Tender Kisses

Saturday. xxv. x. mmxviii

You left. After all we've been through together. The way your gentle calloused palms caressed my own, was beyond words. The way your beautiful eyes captured mine, managed to leave me breathless. Now you are no longer near me. No longer there to hold my hand when something goes horribly wrong. No longer there to tell me stupid jokes that still managed to make me chuckle. No longer there to engulf my tiny figure into your hard built ones. And no longer there to engross me into moronic conversations about random novels.

Gone.

Leaving me alone to fill the void spaces around me. Leaving me to feel numb.

Devastated.

Damaged.

Broken.

You left me, all alone, to fend for myself, when I wasn't even remotely ready. But it's you. You're always on my mind. Your touch still feels new to my skin. It is like I can feel your hands around my body. I can still feel your minty breath fan my tan face. But, it is just in my head. I've made a mess of myself again. You aren't here with me now, are you?

I hate how this all ended out to be. You were mine. I was yours. We had our own perfect bubble. Everything has changed now. Your side of the bed is occupied with someone new. Someone who stays the night and never comes back. Someone new everyday. But I can't fall asleep unless you're here, lying next to me. Baby, I miss you in the ways I never thought existed. It is like every bone in my body craves you. A smile still makes way to my face each time I hear your name. The thought of another girl in your arms is excruciating.

How is it that a moment ago we existed?

But now, a moment after, it is like we never happened. It is like those tender kisses vanished into thin air. As if those schmaltzy moments we shared evanesced the minute you uttered those dreadful words.

Even when it's dark, all I see is you. Baby, why are you stopping now. After all this time. Because I have fallen for you. I am already down in the cold hard floor. And I need you to come pick me up. 

I remember every word you said. But now, reality has turned into a dream. But I have already given my all to you. I have nothing now. Just the memories we made together.

Baby, I always think of you before sleep consumes my whole body. The words you said. Those electric feels I get when our eyes meet in the largest of crowds. The way your lips curves into a devious smile when you have something in your mind. The things we laughed about. The comfortable silence we shared one too many times. And when I dream, I dream about you and your exquisite eyes. It is about you. It has always been about you.