I'm fine

Leave

————- the next day (a year ago)——-
The doorbell rang, I threw the book I was reading into my bed and jumped out of my chair swiftly, I jogged down the hallway to the door. Opening the door I was ecstatic, my face was a brilliant smile, until I looked into his eyes.
He wore his resting face, his eyebrows were drawn together and his jaw was tense. My happiness vanished as if it was never there in the first place.
" Hey." I back to the wall opening the door wider, allow him to step inside my small house.
My family went out this morning for breakfast after I told them Lee was coming over.
"Hey Claire ." He said as he quickly drew me into a hug.
My heart dropped. No kiss? No I missed you Claire, no smile? No excitement? No signs of joy whatsoever.
"Hey so I wanted to talk to you about something."
He started off. I quickly cut him off and spoke my mind.
"Aren't you happy to see me? It's been two months and you look like your dog just died." I tried a little joke, sadly to no prevail.
"Yes! Of course, Claire I'm so happy to see you, but I really have to get something off my chest."
Lee sighs looking down as he fiddled with his fingers. A sign that he is thinking deeply.
"Okay, yeah of course go ahead, I'm listening."
I smile and put my hand on top of his. As I motion to my couch for us to sit down.
He sits at the end of my dark corner couch and I sit to his right.
Lee took a deep breathe before he started talking. Looking as if he was trying to use the oxygen in the room as a confidence booster.
"To start off this summer has been amazing. I loved working at Lake Goulding. The people there are so nice and it was life changing. The first couple weeks felt so long however."
He looked up at me after staring at the floor.
"I missed you already, I was so upset I couldn't call you that I insisted to know where the closest place was that had service. One of my friends that I've known since we were very young, also works at Goulding, she offered to drive me to the closest town. I was so great full. But as we were driving there the car broke down."
He smiled slightly as he seemed to be picturing the scene in his mind. My heart started to drop. Slowly.
" mikayla-"
Lee looked at me matter-of-factly
"-That's my friends name. She had no idea what to do. And I have never driven let alone owned a car in my life." He smiled.
I weakly forced a fake smile back.
"We we're stuck there for two days."
"What?!"
I looked at him in shock, how did I never know this? Why didn't you tell me this story yet?"
Jealousy started bubbling up in my chest slowly.... but surely.
"I just got back Claire! How was I supposed to."
Lee tried to laugh a little to ease my aggression down.
"Sorry, I don't know where that came from go on."
I cooled off again and listened intensively.
"Mikayla is a really nice girl, and I have known her for, forever it seems, and I just never realized how close we actually are, I missed out on how much we have in common."
I interrupted
"What do you mean-missed out-?"
I look at him with purely confused eyes.
" I mean, Claire, that I missed out on how I felt about her for a long time. I never saw it."
He turned to face me and looked me dead in the eyes. I felt frozen, as if I wasn't actually here but watching this whole thing, this whole conversation, from a distance.
"What are you saying Lee?"
My voice cracked as I became desperate.
" I mean-" he paused and looked away. " the minute I met you, no, saw you last year, I knew I wanted you, you're gorgeous Claire, breathtaking even. You're sweet, kind to everyone, beautiful, considerate, you put everyoneous before yourself, and I loved you for that."
Lee continued talking but I barely heard him apart from his voice that seemed to far away, so quiet. I zoned out and could only hear three words echo.
"I loved you"
"Loved"
His voice became clear again.
"I just feel like we're just not for each other, everything was so rushed, and felt right at the time, but now, now I don't know. After seeing mikayla I knew that all along it was her. I've always truly loved her in the bottom soul of my heart. And I have no intention to make you feel like there is anything wrong with you, Claire, your perfect, but perfect for someone else."
He wrapped his hand around mine. I stared blankly into his eyes. His beautiful dark brown eyes. They looked so sincere. Those eyes that were once filled with love that I could plainly see. We're now just another pair of eyes.
" leave."
"What?"
Lee looked absolutely shocked after this one simple monotone word.
" I said leave."
" do you not want to hear why I know she's definitely for me, Claire I still want to be close to you, I will want to be able to tell you everything." His eyes were pleading.
" last time, I said, leave."
I struggled to keep my voice straight as he picked himself up and walked to the door. I sat and stared at the wall. He put his hand on the doorknob.
" I don't want the leave like this Claire."
I didn't answer
"Claire?"
He asked again
"GET OUT!"
I turn and scream at him. I scream at the most perfect human being I know, I tell the person that owns my entire heart to leave. And as he closes that door he closed the door to that heart. I was broken. Completely and utterly broken.
I start to shake tears are already blinding me, I can't breath I can't control the shaking. I draw my legs up and crunch up into a ball on the couch. I whisper to myself through a shaking, desperate voice, that could bring any man to their knees in tears in an instant,
"You'll be fine, Claire, you'll be fine."
The biggest lie I would ever be told in my entire life.
I'm fine.