Behind The Glasses

Chapter 19:

I sat in the park, the dark slowly setting in. I pull the hoodie tighter around my chest, it is late and the only other occupants of the park are another group of merciless teens. They have claimed a couple of benches at the end of the park. They are loud, laughing, swearing and smoking. I sit on a swing, at the other end of the park, not daring to make eye contact. 

I am thinking of Adam and Owen, who I will be racing the week after next. Although the race is still a couple of weeks away, and I am more than one hundred miles from home; I am still nervous. Sooner or later I'm going to have to go home, and back to reality; sooner or later I'm going to have to face the mess I have made of my life, and I'm going to have to face it alone. 

Some time later Chris comes to get me. His girlfriend arrived earlier that day, she was angry to say the least - Chris hadn't told her I was coming, or who I was. All she saw was her boyfriend having a cup of tea with another girl, in a set of his clothes. 

I had escaped from the flat as she lay into him, Chris trying to frantically garble an explanation. The park was grotty: chewing gum on the seats; the paint peeling; the litter and grafiti everywhere; but it was better than being in the flat with a furious girlfriend. 

Emma had every right to be angry, I would be too if I came back to my flat to find my boyfriend there unexpectantly with another girl. Emma is smaller than I am - about five feet tall, with long blonde hair, straight to her hips, with the brightest blue eyes. She has smiley eyes, you can tell - ironic as I have only seen her screaming; but you could see the smile lines on her young skin, around her bright eyes. 

We drove back in near silence, for three days it had been like it had been before, when Hunter was still Michael, but we were drawn back to the black reality: that I was going home, and Hunter would be livid. 

The hours passed, every ticking of the clock mirrored by the frantic beating of my heart. By the time we got back to the house I was verging on having a panic attack. I never should have left. I should have just ...given in. 

Chris cut the engine just outside of my house. The front light was on, illuminating the room inside to the outside world as no one had yet bothered to draw the curtains. My bag was in the boot of the car. I could slip out easily, throw my bag over my shoulder and slip into the night. I could go anywhere, but I was rooted to the spot. 

Chris prized my clenched fists off of the seat. "It'll be okay Harp, I'll come in with you" - but even Chris' voice was uneaven, shaky; he knew what Hunter was like when he was mad. 

I don't wait to knock on the front door, simply throw myself through it, bag in hand; announcing my arrival. Chris follows, cautiously. The TV is switched off, footsteps clump across the floorboards. Hunter appears in the doorframe. 

*

Hunter had been merciless this last couple of weeks. The night I returned he had said nothing to me, simply thanked Chris and turned him out of our house. I expected him to be livid, to shout and scream as he usually did; to break and throw things, as he usually did. But he didn't. He did nothing, he said nothing; which was even worse. He simply turned his back to me and walked away. 

The two  weeks leading up to the big race passed in a blur. I had training every day. I was in school, although people tended to give me some distance - as usual the rumours had sprouted up left right and centre: I had been on a road trip with my brother, my brother had beaten me, I had run away from home; I had run to the next town and worked as a golf caddy for the remainder of the week. 

Amya and Xander, who were now together; were more protective than ever. I never walked to class alone, I never sat alone, I never did anything at school alone. It was great to have such protective, supportive friends. 

I headed with Ryker to the maths class we shared together. "I saw your brother, the night you left" he says quietly. My breath catches in my throat. I begin to tremble. Ryker takes me gently by the arm into the hallway, away from prying eyes. "By the time I got to yours, you had already left. I saw him, curled up in the lounge on the floor - it reminds me now of the time I saw you lying there yourself. I pity him now, I really do; but at the time I was furious."

My breathing has returned to normal. Ryker gazes at me with his soft blue eyes, smiling a little. "I was terrified, when I saw the blood... I knew he'd hit you before, and I ... I just freaked." I nod.

"We've both put it behind us now" I lie, "Things are back to normal."

"So things won't be great" Ryker sighed. I sigh, wrapping my arms around him. We wait there a moment. I just hold him. It feels right. 

"Am I intruding?" a voice rings. We pull apart; Evan. He has had a hair cut, but he still looks the same. It had been such a long time since I had seen him, it was as if he hadn't existed at all. Had he even been in school. 

"Not at all" Ryker replies, siddling past him and slipping into class. I remain where I was stood. "It's nice to see you too" I smile. 

"It's been a while" Evan smiled back. "Can we start again? As friends again?"

"Of course" I reply. "Change of heart?" - I get a smile in response. "Where have you been?" 

I get a smirk in response, "To places you could only dream of." I roll my eyes. 

"Harper, I'm really sorry, about everything that's happened."

I remain quiet for a while. Should I say 'it's okay'? It's clearly not okay - now everyone thinks I am the school freak; the attention seeking school freak. First the ridiculous rumours about being a dirt biker, and now the whole drama with my family. How much attention did I need?

"I accept your appology." I finish. Evan nods to himself, neither of us knowing what to say; so I turn my back to him, and head into class.