Rebellious to Rejection *Young Writers Prize*

Chapter 4

“Alana have you took your antidepressants?” My mother called out as I made my way towards my room. The sound of the shaking the pill bottle soon started to follow me up the stairs as a reminder of my horrible past.

 

“Mom the more you continue to try and make me take those dumb things, the more I am going to become depressed again.” I shouted as I slammed the door closed behind me, throwing my school bag acrossed the room.

 

The shaking had come to a halt and the silence was almost peaceful. “Well how would you become depressed again if you took your antidepressants?” she asked trying to play the ‘well you aren’t as smart as I am’ card.

 

“Those pills remind me of my past and why I needed to take them.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“I told you countless times that I was ok,” I huffed out as I opened my door to come face to face with my mother. “Oh yeah by the way, thanks for going behind my back and talking the school staff into spying on me.”

 

Her face flushed red in embarrassment. “We didn’t mean for you to think we were spying on you honey. Your father and I, we are just worried ok? I mean we leave our old home and then suddenly you are better?” She pulls me over to the bed and sits down, taking me down with her.

 

“I am not fully better mom,” I begin feeling the tears swell up in my eyes. “I can never forget that day, not fully. I am trying though, I am trying to be strong and think that they possibly want me to be happy too. I know that you are worried but I need your support on this, not what you are doing.”

 

Tears were falling down her face at this point, her efforts to pull herself together falling short every time. I could tell that she was proud of me but at the moment if she said anything it would sound something like a baby talking. I really couldn’t ask for a better mother, she was always there to support me. This was just as rough on her as me, I was her only child and I was trying to face this alone.

 

“Anyways,” I began trying to pull us out of the depressing subject. “What are we having for dinner?”

 

A smile appeared on her face as she let out a laugh. She placed her hand on my face, caressing my cheek as she just looked at me. “You are growing up on me Alana, I remember when you need me to tell you that everything would be alright.” She started fanning her face, trying to fight back the tears once more. “Now I feel like I am learning from you!”

 

I placed my hands on her shoulders and shook her lightly, “mom you are going to make me cry.”

 

“Sorry, sorry I am going to go make dinner now.”

 

I smiled, “well I am going to go for a walk if thats ok?” I grabbed my jacket off the bed post and slipped it on, feeling the warmth spread throughout my body. I missed the warm air so much, the sun shining all the time, and the summer clothes. I was never one for fashion but the cold air was making my lips chapped and my hair frizzy.