Seizures (Avatar: The Last Airbender Fanfic)

Bitterness

Having anyone question his father's honor always made Zuko furious, yet he kept repeating in the back of his head the words saying he thoroughly deserved what happened to him. Not only did he show the Fire Lord disrespect, but the man was his father. Every time he heard Jet shift in his sleep, he became even more agitated, but he wanted Jet gone as soon as possible, whenever it was possible.

Zuko found himself sure the words spewed from Jet's mouth didn't come from pity or the fact that Jet cared what happened to him. Every word reflected Jet's overly biased opinion, but the other boy was little. More importantly, there existed no way Jet could know or understand anything regarding his situation with his father, but more importantly, Jet thought all Firebenders were the same.

He rested with his back against the wall wishing he had gone to work with his uncle, even knowing he would feel majorly uncomfortable about what happened the day before. Zuko mentally envisioned everyone staring at the scar on his face, assuming he was some sort of monster, "because isn't it my fault I'm marked as I am?" After all, he'd done many monstrous things, but his true monstrosity was his complete and utter failure as a son.

He had yet to succeed at one single thing in his life.

Eventually, Zuko zoned out of these thoughts into a half-sleep and didn't hear his uncle come in. Instead, he felt the old man nudge him into awareness. "I was able to convince the tea shop owner this young man is our relative who has become ill. I explained we're trying to get him better and that he wouldn't do that again."

"Why" Why did you ever go and do that for?" Zuko snapped. He sat up and looked at the man who did many things he never understood.

"Do you mean why did I say he was family or that he wouldn't do it again?"

"The first, but the second as well. Do you think once Jet is better and back on his feet, he isn't going to try and kill me again?"

"Yes." Iroh let his mouth twist into a big smile while his nephew's facepalmed himself. "That was a nice spar you two had the other day. You should both do it more often for fun and practice rather than trying to kill each other."

"I didn't try to kill his uncle. It would have ruined our so-called secret life, for crying out loud, but he was trying to kill – no, not me -you. He came after you because of your stupid tea!"

"Come on, Zuko. Tea is good for the body and soul. "Iroh let out a deep laugh, yet his smile eventually faded. "As for what you said, why did I do that? I don't think that boy will ever have a normal life again. Even if we can get him past those seizures, he still has that previously dormant Earthbending, but you know what it's like not to bend for so long, yet you know what it's like to struggle with bending."

"Thanks a lot." Zuko glanced away while crossing his arms. "Seriously. I didn't want to be reminded of that of all things."

"He has nowhere to go." One look at Iroh, and Zuko sighed upon seeing his uncle put on his begging face. "You know he doesn't."

"I'm going to find his friends." Zuko stood, intending to leave.

"Aren't you his friend? I saw that look on your face, Zuko..."

"Lee."

"Well, you did want to be those other kids' friends. Don't hide it from your uncle."

"Why? Why would I want to be their friend, knowing what would happen when they could out what I am? They would have shunned me just like they did."

"They? Do you mean the Avatar and his friends?"

"No," Zuko remembered quite well. Aang asked him to join, but whether they could be friends, his rejection from the honest Lee was more prominent in his mind. "It's something you don't know about since we separated. I'm going to go look for them."

The door closed behind him, yet Zuko found himself at a loss after he left the apartment regarding where he might start looking for Smellerbee and Longshot. He didn't recall seeing them the day before when Jet decided to pull the stunt he had in trashing the tea shop, so he looked around. He remained quiet as he moved about, hoping not to draw attention to himself.

He still succeeded in bumping into someone, but he stopped and looked down at the person. The person wasn't Smellerbee, yet he could still tell the person was a girl. She wore green, yet everyone in the city wore green; even two Fire Nation refugees forsook their usual red. Brown locks of hair cascaded around her face, yet Zuko didn't care and found himself turning and walking off without seeing a slight tinge of pink appear on the girl's cheeks.

Zuko frowned but found he didn't like how things weren't working out in the manner he would like, yet he needed to figure out where to begin looking for the other two Freedom Fighters. They were sane compared to Jet, yet he also wondered who gave those two the crazy names they went by or if they were nicknames.

Eventually, he went and leaned against a wall but found himself frustrated with himself. He needed help figuring out why he never succeeded in doing anything right. His mistakes felt like they made up every aspect of his life, but thinking about everything, he messed up to put his mind into a significant mess. He also found himself falling deeper and deeper into the dark depression he constantly found himself in.

The possibility of Jet ending up a part of their lives did not help.

Working at the tea shop could have been better.

Nor was keeping the fact he was a Firebender a secret doing him any good.

His mood was not helped by the fact he found himself wearing the green clothing of the Earth Kingdom.

His sister was also a psychopath who wanted to kill him.

Last – there was the fact he wanted lightning to strike him, which of course, didn't happen, which was its mess of emotions.

Zuko sighed and continued looking for Jet's two friends rather than dwelling on the negative emotions in his head.