THE HUNGER GAMES. BTS ✓

chapter thirty - unedited

chapter thirty: the night
UNEDITED—

KANG Y/N

Have you ever wanted to cry because you're so disgusted with yourself?

I was disgusted with myself.

Staring up at the pictures of Jung Lilli and Taehyung's district partner, I felt relieved.

I felt happy about the death of kids.

I had attacked Jeon Jungkook for no particular reason.

And I wanted to win and return home. Even if it meant the others dying.

My thoughts were horrible, to say the least.

I'm selfish. You don't deserve this Y/n, what have you done for Panem so far?

Just because I have a brother that needs to be taken care of, I thought that I had to win.

Did I ever think of the families of the tributes? How they're families felt?

Nine of us were already dead, only fifteen were left.

But that wasn't going to last much longer. I had a feeling that had either the twins or Lee Taeyong wouldn't survive the night.

Not with Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jin hunting them.

Park Jimin, Jung Hoseok, and Jeon Jungkook were still with me and Baekhyun.

That also wasn't going to last much longer, they were most likely already planning to kill us.

But I didn't really care about running, standing up, or even eating.

All I did was stare at the sky with Baekhyun situated next to me.

He wasn't doing well at all, shaking in fear and slight sadness. He was afraid.

I didn't try to cheer him up though, the first step was cheering myself up.

Not that I had a lot of motivation for that.

When Hoseok-ssi sat down in front of me, trying to get me to eat, I was confused.

Why were we acting like this? We weren't allies and I had even tried to kill one of them!

Jungkook was still bleeding because of my attack, but he wasn't mad. More like confused.

It made me sad to see him like that, as if I had betrayed him.

He was sad, he had genuinely thought that we were friends. I had thought that too, but seeing him kill someone had opened my eyes.

He wasn't a good person and I also wasn't the best, but there was still a difference.

He would be able to survive the worst part of the games, I wouldn't. That made me a bit mad.

If Jungkook ended up winning, he would return home to fame, glory, and happiness, the opposite would be true for me.

I would return to nightmares, guilt, and the feeling of blood staining my hands.

The only positive things waiting at home were Jisung, Mark, and Jisoo.

"Hey Y/n, if you keep acting like this I might have to force the food down your throat." Jung Hoseok tried to joke, but he was fake.

His eyes were always cold when staring at someone, not someone I would recommend to cheer up anyone.

Maybe I was just paranoid, he probably was a good person. I didn't know him after all.

I didn't know anyone properly, but still, I thought that I somewhat deserved to come home.