Counting Stars(Book One/Noel's Story)

Ch. 10: One Star Left

A Week Later

-Eric's p.o.v.-

I stared at her sleeping form from outside the window of the hospital room. It's been a week and she hasn't shown any signs of waking up any time soon. The doctors say that she needs this rest, but they don't know Noel like I do. She's not waking up because she doesn't want to. She thinks that Silver is dead and that kind of hurt is not something she wants to come back too. I understand, but then again I don't. I will never be able to comprehend fully. I wasn't there back then or now. I will never be able to know wholeheartedly the kind of pain and fear Matt caused them. I sighed wiping away the single tear sliding down my cheek. I just wanted to let her know I was here. That I wasn't going anywhere and if I had to start all over again then I will.

"Eric." came a voice from on side of me. I turned only to come eye to eye with a red eyed Mr. Passenger.

"Mr. Passenger I'm so sorry we couldn't tell you what was going on sooner sir. By the time we figured it out it was too late."

"Stop. Stop right there son. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for anything. The fact that you tried to protect her even though a gun was pointed at you is more than I can ask. You saved my daughter Eric. You brought my baby back to me and I will forever be in your debt. You know she's told me a lot about you son. I want you to know how much she's forgiven you. I'd say you definitely made up for your freshman year. Now come on, let's go inside. There's no need to be scared." I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks as he hugged me too him. His words meant a lot. I can't explain how much I hated myself for what I let happen and then I failed once again to protect her. It was too much.

"I-I c-can't." I stuttered trying to calm myself down. "She'll hate me for failing her again."

"Look at me son. Don't only one that hates you is you. She'll understand. She won't hold it against you. Why can't you see that?"

"I love her sir. You're not to supposed to let those you love get hurt." I cried holding head down in shame.

"You didn't let her Eric. You fought. You fought until you helped her get back home son. Remember you are one of the victims also. Don't hate yourself for something that was out of your control. Do you understand me?" I could hear the sadness in his voice. I felt bad. He should be focusing on his daughter right now. Not me.

"Yes sir."

"Now come on. Keep an old man company." From the tone of his voice I knew I had no choice. Why couldn't I just tell him that seeing her like that was killing me on the instead?

.................................

I sat there staring at her my eyes never leaving her. I sighed. I just needed her to open her eyes even if it meant for only that one time. At least I would get to see her eyes and her voice one last time. I wipe the tears away trying to find the right words to say, but nothing came to mind. Sighing I just began to say what I felt in my heart.

"Noel, baby you have to open your eyes. I need to see you baby. I don't want the last memory I have of you to be that scared girl who was chained up half naked and crying over her bestfriend because she thought she was dead. I need to hear your voice. I am willing to do whatever it takes just to be able to hold you again. Just to be able to talk to you again. Just to be able to hear you sing again. You are the light in this fucked up life of mine and I'm not ready for it to be diminished. I'm so sorry that I failed at protecting you. I'm sorry that I couldn't stand up against Beniyah and Joe again. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of this a second time. No one deserves to go through this and no one deserves to have to repeat it.

Baby you are far stronger than I give you credit for. You are far stronger than I could be. Do you hear me Noel? You are too strong to let this break you darling. Silver is alive. She's okay Noel. If you come back for anyone, come back for her. I understand your relationship now Noel. Silver is to you what you are to me. She is your sane place and you need her as much as she needs you. So don't leave her. Don't leave any of us. You may not believe it Noel, but you mean to much to all of us for you to just go away. I don't know if my voice is irritating you and I'm sorry for that, but there's some things I need to tell you. You know I've never lied to you. I told you everything about me that you could possibly want to know, but I did withhold one thing from you.

I have a sister. A twin sister and my step-father hated be because all I wanted to do was protect her from him. I made sure when my mom wasn't home she wasn't either. If my mom left I made sure she was right behind her. I thought I was protecting her, but I was so wrong. When he threw me down the stairs I told the cops everthing, including my suspicions. That's why my mom hates me. She thinks I made it up about him wanting Shay. Shay is my sister. I only ever told Joe about this. he found me one night on the phone crying.

We had gotten into a fight that night and she said she no longer had a brother. She said it wasn't like I could protect her anyways. I had no idea what she meant. I gave her everything and spoiled her in a way that our mom wouldn't. I made it so that she wouldn't have to work and still be okay. Or so I thought. The night they took you and Silver I had been beaten up side the head with a gun to the point that I needed stitched and Steve was shot. It was that night that we realized how much of a mistake trusting Joe was. We were out of it for two days before we woke up and the first person I seen was Shay. She was there with a cop and we were in a hospital. I freaked out. Something deep within me was hoping it was all a dream and that you were still at the hotel and okay, but I knew it was a lie.

Joe had gotten my sister, Steve's dad and a few nurses to keep us here. For a month they kept us locked up in these rooms for no good reason while that sick pervert did that to you. Noel I was broken while she was here. Everything I ever did was to protect my sister. I lived my life for her and her only one. I got a job while I was homeless and still made sure she was okay. No one ever gave me handouts they way I had been doing it for her and I come to find out that it was all for nothing. I ended up protecting someone who didn't want to fucking me be protected Noel. My entire life was turned upside down for nothing.

I wanted to protect her from sexual abuse by our step-father Noel, but she had been having sex with him the entire time. I hadn't known this. When she got pregnant she came to me hysterical. She wouldn't tell me who the father was and even though I had a feeling I knew who it was I ignored it. That was until she had another miscarriage. In that state that she was in she confessed everything to me. Everything about her and our step-father including that he had been the one to get her pregnant both times. I was so pissed at her. I just walked away and ended up joining the band. It was Joe who contacted me saying you guys needed a guitarist and it couldn't have come at a better time. I was so pissed at her that I never talked about her or my mother again. That was until I confessed everything to you and here I am speaking of everything again.

I don't feel bad for not being there for her the second time around, yes losing a child is terrible on a female, but I did everything to protect her, especially putting my own life in dangerous and she appreciated none of it. She let me do it for no reason and after everything with Joe I can never forgive her. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. I can never forgive her. You are the only thing I have left and she almost took that away from me.

There's so much more than we need to talk about love and I can't wait to be able to, but you have to come back to me first. Come back to all of us. Your dad, Steve and especially Silver. Okay? Open those beautiful eyes for me love so I can tell you just how much I love you." i was in full blown tears as I felt a hand on my back. I knew it was her dad, but I couldn't be bothered to move. "Please wake up." I whispered gripping her hand just a little bit tighter.