Well it's art.

...my self love

Hi this is gonna be on a bit of deeper subject so a warning is here.

Please don't read if you have a problem with the following;
eating disorders, anxiety, depression. And low self confidence/esteem.

Thank you and let's continue.

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Hi my name is belle and I have anxiety and social anxiety.

I told myself it was nothing that I was nervous over nothing that I was fine.

I tried not to listen but I failed.
The voices took over and they led me to believe my voice was nothing important.

So I silenced my voice.
I cut my vocal cords so I no one could hear.
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But a few months ago me and my dad had a talk.

He told me he saw everything.
And I was scared of what he meant because no way did he know I keep it hidden.

And when I asked him what he meant, he said he saw the pain I had keep hidden.

He told me he knew about the anxiety first.
He said he said how whenever I was nervous or anxious I would start to stutter or I would bite my lip.

He said now whenever I look at you,
You have bite marks dug into you're lips and whenever you talk, it's always a hushed whisper or a stutter of words.

You always apologize over absolutely nothing.
It's like you're scared to do it wrong so you make sure to do it perfect....... and if it's just a little wrong, you say sorry so many times like the world has ended.

He knew about the social anxiety even before I told him.

He had told me,

Whenever you were in a crowd you shrunk,
as if you were scared to mess up.
Like you were going to make a fool out of you're self.

And I know this because you do at home to because you curl up into you're self when we turn to you, you build a barrier for yourself as if you're scared to talk and say the wrong thing.

You're scared to say the wrong thing so you say nothing instead.

You want to fade into the background.
But we don't want you to.

He told me it was okay and he had it to even now he does but he works on it to.

He promised I could come to him anytime it got to bad.
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Hi my name is belle,

And I low self confidence and self esteem.

I didn't think very high of myself and I knew that I should.

My dad also noticed this.
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He told me that, god has made us with, confidence and self esteem so we could love ourselves.

He has whispered that some people, like me.
Where the other way around.

That we didn't think highly of ourselves.
That we thought we could do better,
that we didn't deserve the praise we got.

That's we weren't good enough for love.

And he told me he noticed.
He noticed that whenever I got praise I dismissed it,and never took the compliments I was given.

He told me that they blamed themselves, my mom and himself. For it.

He told me that he felt guilty for making his child think so low of themselves.