Well it's art.

I was sexually harassed

Ha I don't even know why I'm doing this.
Maybe it's because the guilt is eating at me or maybe it's the fear of it happening again.

Maybe it's that I have heard so many people having it happen to them.

I don't even know why I'm doing this.

Whatever,
It happened a few years ago in a mall,
I remember I was 12,
I was 12 guys.
I remember telling my mom that I saw something I liked at the other end of the store and that I wanted to go look.
So she let me.

Now before anyone starts to blame my mom,
She didn't even know because back them it wasn't as bad, because back then you could be safe not that safe but safe enough for people to be scared of being grabbed and raped and killed or sexually harassed around the comer.

You see how I said people, ya boys and gender fluid and non binary people have this kinda stuff happen to them to. The whole world can have this happen to them so get off you're high horse and think other people besides women can't be raped and if you think other wise.
Meet me in the Parking lot because I will fight you.

But back to the story,
Oh god it's ah,
I don't really remember how or when he came up, probably because I was turned away and not thinking oh I should look out for a sexual predator that will do that to a 12 year old girl.

Then I felt something touch my bottom,
And I whipped around to see what that was and I saw him,
He was in his mid thirty's, that's to old.
And he played it off and I soon as I turn away it happened again, and I soon I found my size I grabbed it, but I was short I had to reach up to grab it. I felt a hand brush my chest. And here he is again but her played it off for reaching for a shirt.

And as soon as he saw me looking at him he had smiled and told me, it's for my daughter you see and it looked like it was the last one so I had to grab it.

And guys I was so freakin young so I thought Well okay.

And moved on and he followed me.
Till I was in the back of the store looking at something I forgot it was it was now but I know it was for a friends birthday.

And he grabbed me.
And I froze.

There are somethings we do, we can think I can take them I can out run them, or we freeze.

Here's the term I found on a website about it.

By activating the sympathetic nervous system, which is in contact with the brainstem or cerebellum, a person is "chemically fueled" by the provision of adrenaline being released into the body. This adrenaline, in turn, triggers the decision to Fight (attack and defend) or Flight (to flee) or Freeze (play dead).

And I froze, because what could I do.
I know my strengths and I know my weakness.
And I couldn't fight a grown man.

So I froze and I stared to cry.
I started to cry because I was so scared.

And I thank this man everyday of my life because he came back and as this saw what was happening and he immediately ran and pulled this man off of me and stared to scream and yell and he ended up punching him and threatening to call the police.

And the man ran and I was so happy but so terrified.

The man that saved me crouched down and asked me if I was okay. But he didn't touch me and I was happy that he didn't because I was on the verge of a panic attack and I didn't want to be touched and he knew that and stayed with me and made sure I was okay.
And he guided me back to my mom.

I will never forgot that day and I probably never will.
I know make sure if I see people following me I learned how to defend my self if someone comes near me. I know always keep a eye on my little sister and brother.

But I'm not gonna lie I probably will still freeze I will still be a scared little girl.
I still have night terrors back to that day.

If something like this has happened or will happen please do not be afraid to tell someone. Or do what you think will make you feel safe about taking about it.

But please please be safe and please be careful

I'll post some art later or see you later