IS / WAS

ii. is

YESTERDAY.

 

IT IS unbelievably hard to focus on eating when your girlfriend keeps on shifting in her seat, her leg bumping the table's leg constantly.

I try hard not to notice, but when the table gets rattled the eleventh time, I put my fork down and hiss at her.

"Jess."

Her head looks up almost instantly, her face pale.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jess  seems like she's forgotten how to breathe, "I - er - uh - um - it's, um it's ouranniversaryandikindofforgotmywalletinmyjacketandikindofleftthejaccketathome."

My eyebrows crease, "What?"

"Mywalletisinmyjacketandileftmyjacketathome."

"Jesus, Jess - how are you this illiterate today? Just spill it out."

Jess coughs.

"What is it?"

"Walletisinmy-"

"JESS!"

"CHRIST, CELESTE - I SAID I FORGOT MY JACKET AT HOME AND MY WALLET IS IN THE FUCKING JACKET, OKAY?"

Almost everyone stares at us now, and I stare back, rolling my eyes at them.

"Well, why didn't you tell me earlier? I could just pay for the meal." I say, getting my wallet out of my bag.

"But this was my treat and I -"

"It's fine, Jess."

"But I -"

"Jess," I breathe, "It's fine."

"I'll just -"

I sigh loudly and she stops talking.

"We can just use my credit card." And I add, "But if you want, you can just pay me back - no big deal."

Jess smiles and I call on the waiter.

♀ ♀ ♀ ♀

We've been waiting for about thirty-five minutes now, and I've called multiple waiters to follow-up on my card for about thirty-five times now, so when a sleepy looking woman approaches us, hands me my card and tells me my credit card is broken, I get angry.

"What do you meanthe card won't work?" I say.

The woman sighs slightly, "Ma'am it means your card doesn't work."

I raise my eyebrows at her, before standing up and clearing my throat, "Are you sassing me right now?"

Her eyes grow wide, "What ma'am? No - I would never - I mean, I -"

"Well then you shou-"

I feel Jess' hand touch my arm, "Celeste, why don't you just pay in cash?"

I put my hand on my hip, before staring at her, "Well, don't you think that if I had cash, I would've payed in cash half an hour ago?"

Jess looks like she's about to say something, but she stops herself.

"Ma'am? Are you saying you don't have money to pay for the meal you just ate?"

"Well - I, er - um," I clear my throat, and stand up straighter.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I don't."