IS / WAS

v. was

Celeste really wasn't open to well, being open about our relationship yet. If one could call holding hands (in secret) and calling each other every night (in secret) and occasionally making out (in secret) a relationship. I was okay with it, of course I was, but she made me feel like she really wasn't.

"Wow, you're in too deep." Leo whistled low after I told him about it.

"Tell me about it," I sighed. "Help."  

"Why don't you just . . . I don't know . . . talk? To Celeste? About it? Could that be a possibility?"  

"I don't like the tone of your voice, mister."  

Leo smirked. "You're scared."  

"I'm not."  

"Okay," Leo tossed me my hat, "go get 'em, tiger."  

"What?" I spluttered.  

"You're not scared?" His smirk only got wider.

"Talk to your secret girlfriend."  

"Leo - "  

"And if she breaks up with you, tell her I'm single."  

I didn't realize my jaw had dropped until Leo closed my mouth for me. "I'm kidding. Now go."    

✿    

"Any reason why you physically dragged me out here?" Celeste raised an eyebrow as she continued licking her ice cream. I gulped; why did Celeste Hale have to eat ice cream like that?  

I saved a drop of strawberry ice cream from hitting the ground with my tongue. "I didn't physically drag you out here - "  

She hummed, eyes fixated on me. "Jess, you literally barged into my house, screamed 'CELESTE, WE'RE GOING TO THE PARK' and dragged me by the arm out here."  

"Fine, whatever."  

"I'm guessing you wanted to talk?" Celeste murmured.  And of course she had to be this good at reading people.

"Yeah, I - "  

"Hey, Jess!" I turned to see two guys approaching us, one with his arm around the waist of the other's. "Jess Levine?"  

"Wait," I thought and suddenly my mouth broke into a grin, "Chad Moore? It's been fucking years!"  

The guy whose arm is around Chad's waist coughed. "Oh, sorry, shit I'm rude," Chad laughed. "Jess, meet Kyle. He's my boyfriend."  

"I always knew there was something about you," and I chuckled too. "Nice to meet you, Kyle." I shook his hand and suddenly remembered that there was a living, breathing cute girl beside me. "This is Celeste. She's my . . . " I trailed off to look at her.  

"Girlfriend. I'm her girlfriend." She smiled warmly, waving at them.  

"Same to you, old friend." Chad punched me on the arm. "I knew you were gay."  

"Fuck off, Chadwick," I deadpanned.   Kyle leaned in to whisper into Chad's ear and the latter grinned. "Gladly," he said. With a final nod of the head, he led Kyle away and okay, no one should have been pinching butts.

"They're cute," I heard Celeste say.

I turned to her. "You just called me your girlfriend."

Celeste ignored it. "How do you and Chad know each other?"

I knew Celeste wouldn't answer me if I kept talking about it, so I decided to reply to her question and see what would happen. "We dated in middle school."

"You and he?" she was laughing now. "Whoa, okay. And you're both gay . . . so I'm guessing it didn't work out?"

I hummed, finishing off my ice cream (Celeste's was long gone).

"God, you're adorable," she exhales.

Here's when I decided to repeat what I said. "You called me your girlfriend."

And it looked like I chose the perfect time because this time she replied, "you are my girlfriend, aren't you, Jess?"

"Am I?" I sighed. Better tell her now. "You don't seem to think so."

"What do you mean?" she asked and I noticed she inched away from me.

"Why can't we tell anyone about us?"

"I just did . . . " Celeste's brows furrowed. (She cannot be cute now, of all times.)

"One person." I inch back towards her. "How about your friends? Or my friends? Can't they know?"

"Right," Celeste stood up, and got on the park bench. "Excuse me, everyone? May I have your attention please?"

"What are you doing?" I hissed, sinking lower into the bench upon finding people staring at us. (A few of which were people I actually knew.)

"I'd like to say something." Celeste raised her voice as well as her arms. "This girl right here," gestured to me, "thinks that I'm ashamed of her."

"Cece - " My cheeks were getting warmer by the second.

"Well, I'm here to prove her wrong." She held out her hand and I took it; she hoisted me up so her arm was around me as Kyle's was around Chad. "I, Celeste Hale, am proud to say that Jessica Levine is my girlfriend! And I like her. A lot."

I'm not proud to say I almost fainted, so I was lucky that Celeste had her arm around me. God, I hadn't expected this; it was the kind of thing I would've done but here she was, grinning like an absolute idiot.

She kissed me, full and long, running her hands through my hair, giggling. "Are you happy now?" she murmured in between kisses.

"You're amazing," I almost sobbed, pressing myself closer to her. (It's a miracle we didn't fall off the bench.)

She finally broke the kiss and I opened my eyes to find mized expressions among the small crowd gathered around us: mild disgust, extreme disgust, slightly orgasmic, pure bliss, frustration. I attempted to get down and probably hide in a bush forever (people were just not my thing) but Celeste pulled me even closer. (Was it the wrong time to mention her breasts?) (Yes, it was.) (Sorry.)

"Don't worry about them," she whispered.

"You're one to talk about that." I let my nose touch hers.

"Sorry," she cupped my face between her palms. "I was just, I don't know . . . scared?"

"You shouldn't be. I wasn't."

"I know, I know. I was wrong."

"That's something I don't hear everyday."

"Damn you," she said but it had no bite. "I'm not scared anymore. I don't care," she raised her voice again, "and anyone who thinks this is wrong should fuck themselves in the ass!"

This time I kissed Celeste (lips, teeth, tongue, breathless silent moans, fumbling hands) and this time, we fell and I might've had a mild concussion.

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a short note from julia: what even was this im sorry (++ dedication to ryan bc she seems v emotionally invested in this?? even though she only commented on summer's chapters whats up w that bruh) (jk)