xiii:paris,france.

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Jiwoo.

I never expected to be in a car with my ex girlfriend and current romantic partner. It felt strange. Max had their hand tightly gripping my thigh. We were together in the backseat and Heejin and Sooyoung was in the front. I wondered how Sooyoung's father even got his rambunctious daughter a new car. Let alone, something as luxurious as this. When Sooyoung got her first car, she crashed it. She came to school that day in her father's luxury SUV with a very upset look on her face. But, I guess she earned this car with her new position in his company. It still smelled new.

Max didn't bother to speak French for the car ride since they deemed it "disrespectul to use other languages that the other doesn't understand in front of people". Max also seemed eager to be good on this car ride. I guess it was because they were in front of company. I might as well do the same and keep myself tight-lipped. But, I couldn't help but look at the way Sooyoung's hands were on the wheel. Her side profile. She looked like the same girl I fell in love with 3 years ago. All through high school, I was with her. But, I really wondered where we went wrong. And how I ended up in someone else's arms if we were something quite like fate.

Max noticed me looking and they tilted my chin towards their direction. "What you looking at?"

"N-n.."I didn't even bother to respond. "Just looking around."

I saw Sooyoung's eyes shift towards us in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. Max placed their arms around me. For the rest of the car ride there was hostility. Once we got out of the car, the restaurant we were to meet Jinsoul at was bumping and rich. It smelled like wealthy people and elegant food. Max had wondering eyes at every woman that passed and the women looked back too.

"Welcome to Parisian-Spaniard Esquina, a restaurant my father had opened up recently," Sooyoung proudly says in English.

"What is your father?" Max asks. "Some rich chef or something?"

"I told you. He's from Ha Industries," Sooyoung said curtly. She was looking at Max a little too coldly. I automatically clung to Max out of security and trying to protect them. But Sooyoung wasn't even bothering to attack. Her eyes were threatening enough.

"I knew that," Max chuckled. They looked around. "Nice digs."

Heejin tsked and then looked around. "Did you give the girls the address?"

"Yeah. They should be here soon. I'll get the hostess." Sooyoung retreated somewhere. Max slipped their fingers into mine. I grinned at them warmly.

"Tu vas aimer mes amis." (You'll like my friends). I kissed them on the lips right in front of Heejin to show that we were happy right now. She seemed unphased, playing on her phone.

"J'en doute. Je n'aime pas ces amis." (I doubt it. I don't like these friends). Max's eyes followed some woman down the hall. I felt jealous and I grabbed their face. They still looked bored. "Quand partons-nous, ma fille?" (When are we leaving, girl?)

"When we're done eating," I reply as Sooyoung returns back with the hostess. The hostess is looking at Sooyoung with a little too excitedly. I wondered what Sooyoung said to her exactly. She was quite the charmer, after all.

We get seated at a table with a good view of the Eiffel Tower. The sun was setting on the horizon. It looked beautiful. We all ordered beverages. Max was avoiding alcohol tonight and I was grateful for that. Max placed a napkin on my lap and on their own as well. I never seen them act this courteous in a long time. I felt happy. I tried to display this happiness to Sooyoung to show her I moved on to better things, but she was talking to Heejin about how Jinsoul was in high school and I think something about Hyunjin studying in Japan.

Jinsoul entered the restaurant with Choi Yerim. Everyone was freaking out. I didn't blame them: Jinsoul was dating the Kim Jung Eun. Or at least from what I recalled. They sat at the table. I gave Yerim a hug. I was a bit shocked that she was with Jinsoul because she was still in high school. Jinsoul said that Yerim was her mentee in arts.

We ordered food and everything felt like a blur right now. My friends and ex were talking in Korean about stuff, but Max was eating and it seemed as though this was my entire world right now. I felt like I had no identity in this. Max gawked at me whenever I spoke Korean with the girls. It was as if he was disgusted. Jinsoul tried to get Max involved in conversation but Heejin shot a glance that they would discuss this later. More than anything, I just wanted to go home with Max. "You ready to go?" I ask Max. They look at me and shrug.

My friends look at me with confused and puzzled looks on their faces. Much to my surprise, Sooyoung speaks to me. "Already?" She looked between Max and I. "I'll drive you home if you're ready." Sooyoung stands up. I didn't want her to take us home. I shook my head, pleading them not to. Max smiled, though.

"Alright, bet. This party blows anyway," Max says. "Thanks for having me." She bows slightly and then we all go out into the parking lot. Sooyoung opens the passenger doors for us, chaffeur-styled. I just felt like this was too weird to be true. We climbed into the back. Sooyoung fixes the mirror so she could have her eyes on the both of us. Max didn't seem to be paying attention. They were planting their lips on my neck. Shockingly, tonight was quite tame. But the car ride was silent as Max tried to seduce me. But I felt unhappy that I couldn't really talk with my friends.

When we got to Max's apartment, I watched Sooyoung pull off without looking back at me. I sort of felt empty but as soon as Max took me to their apartment, we began fighting again.

This time I actually fought back because I was angry. I felt sad because I couldn't speak with my friends. All because I wanted to please this person. They were always disappointed for some reason. They soon reached for my purse and got my phone out of it. "Je ne veux pas que tu aies des amis." (I don't want you having friends). Soon they began smashing my phone with a hammer. I was screaming as they did it. Max kept telling me to shut up but I wouldn't. My screams got worse and worse and pretty soon, they unbuckled their belt and began whipping my arms and face with it.

"Tu es tellement moche quand tu pleures." (You're so ugly when you cry) Max gritted their teeth as they finished unleashing their wrath. They just left me on the couch. I heard the bedroom door slam and then hard rock music explode through the walls. Tears poured down my face. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. I held one of the cushion pillows close as I cried in silence, my arms covered in scars and possibly my face too.

I wish I knew how to fight back. 

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