Paris En Tu Invierno (ChuuVes FF)

xxiv. paris, france.

Jiwoo.

Sooyoung and I spent the evening eating our leftover Italian food and watching the Eiffel Tower. I felt a little bad that I did spark off like a firecracker on her when she was trying to allow me to adjust to her, but she did raise a good point on the flight back. "My gesture was too grand," she said to me, as we were landing. "I should have just started off small, but then again... I don't really know how to do things anymore."

She kept her distance from me and it did make my heart ache a little. She was just on her phone, probably checking her schedule or the excess amount of girls she was involved with...if she was talking to any. I did want to ask so many questions. Like, how easy was it to forget, if she did. Or what was going on in her mind when she did all of those things. I just respected the silence between us. The night was beautiful. I was pretty sure this was my first time actually taking a good look at the Eiffel Tower since I came here. I haven't had the chance to see the thing that truly brought me here.

I wanted to thank Sooyoung for giving me the opportunity. But, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk. I made a small sound, which automatically made her look up with concern. Those eyes. I felt weak. My heart thudded really loud in my ears. "You okay?"

"I just..." I pursed my lips. I closed the take out box and looked around. "I feel at ease for once."

"That was the initial goal," Sooyoung sighed. She turned off her phone and turned it face down beside her. "I think we both need a turn-around for our lives." She sounded drained. "I made some mistakes that I would love to forget about, but I know they come up to me. And, when you came back in my life, it was like...well shit.."

"What provoked you to even be like that?" I asked. "Making these mistakes, I guess?"

"Well, like young people tend to do, we fuck up and learn shit. It was my first time being free in, what, two years? So I did what any decent 20 year old would do: fuck around. I tossed about here and there, went to Europe as an economically privileged kid-"

" 'Economically privileged'?"

"I don't like the term 'rich'. But, I just was blind. I was unhappy with who I was because I felt like a failure. My mom basically tossed me onto my dad because she was too poor. My dad had to fight to put me and my sister on the family registry. But, my sister didn't want a piece in it. So, my father just focused on me. My mother and sister sort of slighted me as I got closer to the man. And then, losing you just topped everything."

Instantly, everything sort of came full circle. Sooyoung and I weren't as different as I thought. "So, how long did you know you were leaving for Europe before we broke up?"

"I didn't know, Jiwoo. I just booked my flight the night you basically told me that I wouldn't equate to shit when at one time, we were all we had for each other. I may have had the old man, but you were....worth so much more Jiwoo. I'm sorry if I'm overloading this, but I needed this change. This job allows me to get the reins and find out who I am as a person. I can be my own boss and also work on photography. Truth be told, taking pictures hasn't truly been on my mind since I came here. It was booking flights left and right whenever I got too wild here or there," she says. "I was a damn trainwreck. And then, seeing you with Max...it made me feel like I failed life when it was just starting up."

Sooyoung was tearing up. I gave her a napkin, unsure of what to do or say. I didn't know that was what was going on with her. "I'm sorry," was all I could mouth.

"No. I'm sorry, Jiwoo. I should have just listened to you. Maybe our lives would have been a little bit better," Sooyoung said. "I know I was trying so hard to gain the everything that I had lost."

I swallowed. "When I came here, I thought I would forget you. But it just seemed like, something wanted us together." I shivered a little in my sweater. Sooyoung took off her blazer and wrapped it around me. "It's a little cold out. We should buy some coats from somewhere."

"Yeah," Sooyoung chuckled. "Honestly, I just want to start over with you. Something."

"Wait." I hold up my hand. "What does this start over encompass?"

"Just....the chance to ...I want another chance, Jiwoo." She folded her hands and now she looked like an innocent puppy. "We can take however long....how about this...by the end of the winter, I can make you fall in love with me again."

"That's a little close...."

"I'm up for the challenge." Sooyoung grinned.

"Also, who said I was ever in love with you?"

"Your actions did," Sooyoung laughed.

"But, how could I fall in love with a playgirl? How could I know I'm the only one?"

"I cut off all the connections and if a situation were to arise, I would tell you. See, I'll admit to my mistakes." She held her hands up high, as if she were defeated. "For you, I'll do anything."

I grinned. "Anything."

"I knew I could make that smile come around for me at least one time," Sooyoung said. "Alright, if I make you smile again...if it's cool with you...can I get a kiss on the cheek?"

"One smile a day = one kiss a day," I compromised, because she was too cute. She looked like a little brown labrador puppy. I pecked her on the cheek and her face turned a bright scarlet.

"Let's get back home."