Paris En Tu Invierno (ChuuVes FF)

xvii. Ivry-Sur-Seine, paris.

I pop open a bottle of champagne and pour a glass for Bella. She was dabbing her eyes with a tissue. We were at a restaurant overlooking the Seine river. It was late in the evening, but my father's newest restaurant was still open. She took a sip from the flute and winced. "This is strong."

"Expensive stuff," I giggle as I took a sip. "So what happened between you and him?" I wanted to get straight to the point. I already knew her motive. It was perfectly clear.

"Well, things went wrong. I kept finding myself talking about different people. I guess I made that mistake. And I kept thinking about you and how you said you would change for me....and that was just a powerful thing, Greg began to see other people without my permission." She swallowed. This was the same old story. "And I talked to Errin. I know you and her messed around and she warned me to not get caught up. I just want to know...is it too late to..."

I sigh heavily as I take another sip. The story continues. I was now upset. How could I have put myself in such a situation where I'm seen as a playboy? Let alone, I did put myself out there for Bella. However, Bella isn't the girl I want to be with. "Too late to what, Bella?"

"I was wondering if we can work it out."

I took a shot to the head. I came back up feeling woozy. I noted to myself that I must call a driver. "Listen, it's a little too late for that....I can't..be with you. And you aren't emotionally stable. You should go back to Spain for school. And just...never call me again."

"Why?" she began to tear up. I felt bad but I got her another napkin. "Nothing seems to ever work out for me."

"I'm sorry," I muttered. I pat her head. Bella held my hand tightly. I furrowed my brow.

"It's late and the trains won't be coming until morning...do you have a place for me to stay?"

Shit. That was all I can think. We got in my car and we just drove to my apartment. It was a quiet ride that was only filled with the radio playing today's hits. I felt her eyes on me throughout the entire drive back. I opened the door and allowed her inside. There was alreadya a blanket and pillow there because I actually set the space up for Jiwoo. I had planned ahead of time, in case she agrees to live with me. "You sleep there tonight." I walked to my room and she pulled me and kissed my lips. It took me a while before I kissed back.

Here I go again. Flinging myself around. I mindlessly lost myself in Bella, tapping into that lust that I had before I left Spain. I was falling into old habits and I knew I was going to regret this by morning, but I kept going. I lift her up and take her to my room and the night just went by like a blur. I was completely disconnected in my actions. I didn't even think before acting, which was something I usually do. I'm a rather impulsive person. I had my arm around Bella's naked body as the sun poured into my bedroom.

I needed her to get out of here before Jiwoo got the wrong idea. I already screwed up. I knew karma was about to whoop my ass very soon. I'm going to break this girl's heart. Bella, who probably saw a lot of potential in me, was about to be let down. I am able to be a better person, but I chose to just unleash that little bit of lust inside of me. I got up and she moved around as I did. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. "Fuck," was all I could huff out of me. I went back to my room to see Bella putting on her clothes. I looked down at my feet. "I'm going to arrange for a driver so you can leave."

"Leave?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry we even did this." I placed my hand on the back of my neck, still avoiding eye contact. "You should listen to what the rest of them said. And you know how I am."

"But, I just...we..."

"We are nothing, Bella. Just go," I said. "I'm sorry, again. I just can't give you what you need right now."

"Why?" Bella asked. "You wanted to before."

"I think you should just leave and talk things out with Greg because I'm not good." I can't even tell her the whole reason as to why. The only girl I would be good for is in the apartment right across from me. "Just get out."

"No. Because I want you and we're gonna talk about what has changed."

"Nothing's changed. I'm the same fucked up person you went to school with. Get the hell out of my apartment, Bella."

Bella sat there. I took her by the hand and was angry. I had to get her out of here. She kept yelling. I took her downstairs and went to the parking lot. I put her in the car and drove her to the train station at full speed. She scratched my face and I jolted forward. I parked the car and took her to the front door. I threw money at her. "Please, just go!"

"Errin was right about you!" she yelled. "You are such a jerk!"

I drove off and tried to relax. I didn't have anything to do today, so I decided to just dedicate my time to Jiwoo. I will never fool around with anyone again. I kept mouthing this to myself. I can't do this to myself. And I must stay strong for Jiwoo. I called Heejin and found out that Jiwoo was gone.