Just Don't Ask {Damijon!}

Chapter 3: Tears Behind The Mask

~Third Person P.O.V~

Damian pushed his door open, quickly entering his room before slamming it shut. Leaning against it, he closed his eyes as he breathed in deeply still trying to still his breath. He slowly opened his eyes as he exhaled, remembering he was finally alone, he was safe, he didn't need to wear the mask anymore.

Damian made his way over to his bed, collapsing in it he landed on his stomach, feeling completely exhausted but not from the training he and Jon had that day.

Turning over, he stared blankly at the ornate ceiling of his room. Trying to busy his mind as to not focus on certain.. thoughts and accusations. Normally he would train, breaking more than a few sparring bots in the processes but heading to the training platform in the batcave would only remind him.

Try as he might, he couldn't shake these thoughts. The thoughts spoke of Jon, they spoke of his innocence, his kindness, his hope and his heart. He closed his eyes but when he did so, he saw Jon, a big goofy smile on his face, Damian saw the sweet sparkle in his eyes and he heard Jon call his name "Damian?" That made his heart skip a beat.

He opened his eyes, breathing in before flipping over on his side and wrapping his arms around a pillow. The thoughts were getting worse they were getting painful. They told him he didn't deserve Jon, that it was wrong.. to feel this way about him.

Damian had been battling this feeling for.. quite some time now, and everytime he saw Jon it just kept getting stronger. This feeling was strange, it made his stomach ache a bit whenever he was with Jon, he felt a shiver everytime they touched, he felt warmth rush to his cheeks whenever he was with Jon, yet he resisted.

He was a trained assassin, raised from birth to be cold, unfeeling, distant and deadly. He wasn't supposed to be day dreaming about his partner in the midst of battle. The thoughts got worse.

Damian was a trained assassin, all the more reason for his thoughts to remind him.. he didn't deserve Jon. He took his first life at the age of 4, slitting a man's throat in one of the league of assassin's twisted rituals.

Damian was a killer, a murderer he was no better than the criminals he and Jon bring to justice each night. He didn't deserve Jon, he didn't deserve his kindness, his compassion, his friendship or his affection.

Yet these are things Damian craves, he wants Jon.. he's been wanting him for so long but he's resisted. He's corrupt, the bad egg in the family and he didn't want to ruin Jon. Jon deserves someone far better than him, someone who wasn't a killer, someone who could actually make Jon smile, laugh, someone who wasn't him.

He thought it was just built up tension between them, raging teen hormones causing him to think and act the way he does around his young partner.

He thought that throughout his life he never received genuine affection, he never felt love, he never felt warmth. He thought that when Jon was the first person to show him any form of affection, to show him friendship his body and mind overreacted so he decided to ignore them.

He decided to ignore the flush Jon's smile and goofy antics brought to his cheeks, the sparks that flew off his skin whenever they touched, the warmth he felt in his chest followed by slight discomfort in his stomach whenever he was to meet with Jon. He fought back the urge to touch Jon unnecessarily, to hold his hand, to wrap his arms around him to even look at him for too long because it would just hurt more.

Jon was his drug, his addiction. He couldn't get enough of him so he resisted getting any. Whenever he was with Jon he felt a euphoria, a certain high, he felt happiness and warmth whenever he was with the half-kryptonian. Yet he knew it was short-lived.