tiny mushrooms

everyone is gone today.

[ NINE. ]

we all knew what time it was.

biology.

probably the worst class; if i could express my distaste for that subject using one detail, it would be the fact that "mitochondria" has an "h" in it.

what made today's class worse is that i had to sit alone for the whole period.

no jisung.

he's not usually absent, but i let it go today because i figured he just had an emergency or something.

it was a pretty useless day to say the least. i had to listen to ms. chou's stupid informational videos about mitosis for forty-five minutes of my life, and free period was bland; he wasn't here to tell any lame jokes or argue with me about lemonade or if blue or pink was a better room color.

he just wasn't here.

on top of that, hanyu hasn't really been himself recently.

it was only a small change from his usual self, but knowing each other for as long as we did—since fifth grade, to be exact—i felt like i was able to recognize if he was even the slightest bit sad about something.

i feel like it had something to do with jisung, because he's only been like this since the boy came around.

every time the four of us hung out together, hanyu would 'playfully' insult him, probably out of insecurity—which wouldn't really faze me because hanyu has never been the confident type around anyone.

it could have been that he felt comfortable around him, but he knew minjung and me for four years, yet he doesn't make jokes like that with us. i felt like his constant need to say something to jisung was a defense mechanism to make him forget about himself and his problems.

today wasn't the same without him either, regardless of him being at school.

he may have been in front of me, but he was so distant that whenever i tried to talk to him, the words just flew over his head.

this isn't to say i didn't respect hanyu; i completely understand why he would act like this. i just hoped he would open up to me about it.

my last hope was minjung, but she wasn't at school either. i could only assume she was cutting class.

minjung was notorious for skipping classes to get some fresh air, though she didn't do it often. still, she did it more times than a kid in our school would normally do.

lastly, the day wasn't the same without her either. she didn't come to class and begin gushing about her favorite kpop group, nor was she there to bug me about what she found out yesterday at the park...about me liking another park.

none of my friends were here today, and even if they were, it'd still feel strange to sit at the same table with them.

neither of them were who they usually were, and i didn't know how to connect anymore.

the four of us were stronger together, but now that we're apart—even if its just a day—something has to change tomorrow when we actually talk.

___

"do you think they're okay?" hanyu asked out of the blue while we waited at the bus stop.

it was the first thing he said to me today; a weird icebreaker, but still a phrase nonetheless.