A Splatoon Roleplay but it's just madness

ANSWERS

OKAY PEOPLE! IT'S DECEMBER 1 WHERE I AM, SO HERE GOES. (This will be under the premises of the three-person RP that the askers have since nobody else has asked.)

Gi: Did we really have to do this?

No, but why not. Anyway, I'll send down a character to deliver the tape recorder.

*Agent Useless falls out the sky, clutching a tape recorder* 

Agent Useless: AAAAAAAA! Oh. AAAAA AN OCTOLING! *starts furiously shooting Coleman and splats him*

Russel: YOU'VE DONE IT NOW! *splats her with an Autobomb*

Agent Useless: *dies*

...Oh.

Ferra: *picks up the tape recorder and presses "play"* Let's do this.

(EVENT START! Tape recording is played in underlines.)

(First question pack comes from... Soulin89's characters!)

Rev: BLITZ!!!!!!!! WOULD YOU RATHER BE WITH A SHARK OR BE WITH PIRANHAS!!!!!!!!!

*Everyone cringes at the noise, and Ferra frantically pauses it*

Blitz: Well... it depends. If you mean the evolved sealing type, then I'd go with the shark. Piranhas tend to be loud and annoying. Besides, sharks aren't all bad. If you mean with the un-evolved type... well, I can't swim, so I'd probably stand a slightly better chance with the piranhas. Piranha attacks also aren't as fatal as shark ones, even if sharks are less aggressive. *drops Charger* Next.

Liese: Quiet down!

Ferra: Thank cod.

Liese: Do you have anybody you hate OUTSIDE of your drama circle?

Dashel, Argenti and Carnade: Drama circle?

Blitz: Nothing. But... well, I'd have to say there are plenty of people I find annoying. I'm not a big fan of Pearl from Off The Hook. Nor Marina. Those two just seem so superficial, and I despise pop. I can't help but cringe when their music comes on. Electronic AND rap? Please, NEIN.

Russel: There's nobody I really hate per se... but to be honest, I don't really like Carnade. 

Ferra: ... There are plenty other people I hate... too many to list. Oh, let's start with Bertha from high school... that little %^&$* never turned in her part of the project, even to this day! And she never shuts up with her damn gossip or misses a chance to boss me around. When I get my tentacles on her...

Argenti: Nobody!

Dashel: Hm... maybe, uh... Argenti? He's just... there. He's literally perfect. Everyone loves him, except me. And he loves everyone. Look, the world doesn't work like that. And he's going to learn it the hard way. I... don't know how I feel about that. But just... I guess I just envy him. 

Gi: ...Russel and I have a complicated relationship, even outside of our "drama circle" terms. But if I can't say that... Coleman just rubs me the wrong way.

Coleman: *silent* ...Next.

Asako: Can, any of you guys give me a hug? Please?

Argenti: Sure!

Blitz: I'm confident that Dashel, Carnade and Gi would want to help, too, while I'm not so sure if I'm ready. But I'm willing to help out in other ways.

Ferra: ...what?

Russel: ...

Coleman: Uh... sorry, I don't know who you are. Next?