The First Step

You're First Kick

As I started to grow a barely noticeable bump you started giving me extra reminders that you were there, not that I could ever forget you but you always had to make sure. From the extreme nausea to your first kick you always made yourself known on the inside.
As I laid on the couch emailing your daddy not so patiently awaiting his return I thought about your upcoming ultrasound. At this ultrasound they would determine whether or not you were high risk for a chromosome defect of any sort and of course I would get to see how much you had grow. Even though I was still nervous to be going alone I was so excited to see you that I barely noticed my nerves. As I was thinking I suddenly felt butterflies, I wasn't sure if it was you so I put my hand where I felt them and I felt it there again, and that's when I knew it was you. You were officially big enough for mama to feel. I was so excited and for weeks I got your touch all to myself. In those weeks I felt so close to you like we had something special. I could feel you when no one else could and you knew your mamas hand.
During those weeks I was constantly missing your daddy wishing he was there, but every time I touched my belly you would move reminding me that a piece of him was always there. He was inside me for those nine precious months no matter how far away he actually was he was still there just a touch away. He was giving me butterflies and joy just like he always had through the bundle of joy that he so delicately placed inside my womb. Your kicks were the reminder that I desperately needed that no matter what I was never alone. You were the love, joy and comfort that only you could provide. You were everything I needed and so much more, and yet you were so small that only the ones who knew me knew you were there. You were the smallest and biggest thing in my life and you were everything.