Swirl

7. What about us?

Achim woke up an hour and a half later, that is, roughly around five-thirty AM. His mind was running a mile a minute, so he couldn't go back to bed.

What did we just do?

He was scared. Not because of what they had just done, but of how she would feel about it when she woke up. Not too long ago she was crying because of him and wound up in the arms of another man, but this may have just been too much, too soon.

On the bright side, she didn't push him away and she seemed to enjoy their little game. Being the gentleman he was, he would have gladly backed off if she gave any signs of discomfort. So, despite his reservations about it, he was at least happy that he was able to make her feel comfortable enough with him.

In any case, that was just foreplay.

Child's play, even.

He couldn't take it all the way with her just yet; she wasn't ready for him emotionally. When he decided to sleep with a person, he didn't just make it physical. He had adopted the idea of sex being a soul tie a while ago, and he was very picky with whom he allowed himself to make that connection with him. It wasn't just about the pleasure. It was meant to be an experience.

Hell, he didn't even think his own girlfriend was worthy.

Girlfriend.

Chloe.

Shit. I have to tell her.

Okay, with Chloe, the situation was special. She was ready and eager, but he never wanted them to share that connection for specific reasons. One being that he didn't actually love her. The fact that they were in a relationship meant that when and if they did the deed for the first time, it would have to be special. They would have to make love; it couldn't be a meaningless fuck.

He owed her that much, but he wouldn't be able to look at her lovingly if they did it because he didn't feel that way about her. So, he just never initiated anything. There was nothing physically wrong with her. She was beautiful, stellar figure and had a lovely fashion sense. But she wasn't for him, so in essence, his being her was unfair in so many ways.

He knew it was, but he didn't have the heart to break hers. She loved him and he knew she did. He also knew that she was aware of his apprehension towards their relationship. She'd taken it upon herself to try and make him love her. Unfortunately, her attempts were futile.

It didn't matter how many times she'd dragged him for romantic walks along the beach, how many fancy dinners she orchestrated, how many presents she got him, he just couldn't love her.

The more he pondered about this, the more he felt like the biggest douchebag in the world. He should never have asked her out. They were better off as friends.

He spent months with her and felt nothing. He spends an evening with Lerato and feels every emotion a functioning relationship should bring out of a person.

However, it wasn't just his attraction at play with Lerato. He was able to make her come without even being inside her or even touching her heat directly, which said a lot about the force of her attraction to him, as well as made her a worthy mate.

He wasn't going to be naïve and assume that because she didn't verbally say it, she wasn't attracted to him. Sometimes, actions speak where words fail.

And her body had been screaming. Begging, actually. But she simply was not ready.

Speaking of her body, at some point during their slumber, she rolled out of his embrace and lay flat on her back with her face turned towards him. In the soft light of the rising sun, he was able to see her beauty unfiltered.