The Girl That Could See

First Day

Lost? Lost?!? LOST?

They think I am lost?

Why do they insist that I must be lost? Why do they think that? I have explained myself several times.

They don't get it. I am not lost. I know perfectly well where I am going. Why do they assume I am lost?

Is it because I am caring my walking stick instead of using it to guide me? Is it because I have sunglasses on inside? Is it because I don't have a dog to lead me?

It isn't my fault I'm blind. I was not born like this, but some time before I was four, I supposedly had fine vision.

I can't remember that, though.

People don't get it. They try to help me and guide me, but I don't need pity. I am blind not helpless! I can find my way through a room without the help of some pitiful souls.

I get it. "They just want to help," or "they don't want me to get hurt." That may be true, but did they ever ask me what I wanted? Did they ever stop to ask the blind girl if she needed help?

The answer is always no. No one has asked me if I needed help. Never. They all think I am helpless. They all think I am lost.

None of them have talked to me like I'm a normal person. Or like I am not blind. I wish they didn't know I was blind. I have, for years, wished that, but guess what. I am still stuck with people who think I always need help and I never know where I'm going.

I am not helpless, as I said before. Being blind strengthens my other senses. I can hear a butterfly's wings outside a store while I am sitting in the middle of a room full of talking people. Can you?

I can hear the neighbors talking from a few houses away. I can hear shoes on any floor no matter how loud the people in the room are. Can any of you?

No one can sneak up on me. I haven't been startled by someone sneaking up on me in years.

Being blind does not make me helpless. I may seem more afraid of fireworks than your average soul, but I am not afraid of the dark, I don't have to worry about not being able to see when it is too bright, and I don't have to worry about un-seeing anything.

I am making being blind sound okay now, aren't I?

It is not near as okay as I make it sound.

I have never seen fresh fallen snow glisten on a cold winter day.

I have never seen trees with orange, red, yellow, and brown leaves on a nice fall day.

I have never seen green leaves on a growing tree in summer.

I have never seen blossoming flowers, growing fruit, or even the sky during spring.

I have only heard of those things. I sound so descriptive, right? Like I have seen them? No. The answer is no. I never have. I never will.

The worst part is I have never been able to understand completely what "glistening snow," "colored leaves," or "clear sky" are.

To me they are all the same; they are all words put in a sentence. How can I know what "glistening" looks like if I can't ever see it? Don't bother describing it, I can't try to see something like that. Whatever I imagine is what I can see. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Someday I wish I could see it all. I wish I could experience the entire world with eyes that can see.